Some kids just pop out of the womb self-assured and confident. Mine, not so much. Raising 2 former foster kids, assurance is like a foreign language in their minds! It’s been a huge learning process for us to figure out what works and what doesn’t in helping them find confidence in stress. And I know…
Category Archives: Adoption
I Went to the Dark Side…
I did it. I went to the Dark Side. All this time, I’ve been super vocal about the difference between being an advocate and being a…. well, you know. Yesterday, all that changed. (To read the whole drama, go here) I felt bad about it all day. I felt like I had worked so hard…
When I Discovered I Was Part of The Problem
Ours isn’t the usual superhero story. When I brought my daughters home from foster care I anticipated grief, health issues, tantrums (they were both toddlers, after all). But I didn’t think that 7 years later, one would be healthy and well-adjusted while the other seemed to fall apart emotionally and physically in spite of interventions….
The Big Secret…
I’ve been thinking a lot about how being a special needs parent has changed my life. Sure, there are sleepless nights, giant messes, and financial worries. Even typical parents have those problems! Yet, I have learned priceless lessons—some about me, some about the world. These…are the secrets that make this journey worth it all. 1….
What To Do When Your Rope Breaks
My little girl is finally safe in a hospital – a mental hospital – and I’m losing my mind about it. I know some of you have kids with special needs of the neuropsychological kind, too. This post is for you. You know those moments when you wonder where God went? Because if He was…
The Value of Life.
…”The hard part is trying to answer the questions Walker raises in my mind every time I pick him up, What is the value of a life like his — a life lived in the twilight and often in pain? What is the cost of his life to those around him? … If Walker is…
Coming Back to the Craziness: Dealing With Subtle Grief
This weekend I left my life of raising special needs kids for 3 days of complete relaxation. I visited my mom in Arizona and enjoyed meals out, sleeping in, and lots of shopping (sans racing from the premises with tantruming 8-year old). It was a delight. But of course all things must end. Including the…
What are your favorite parenting books?
My friends and I get together twice a month to just be. Be ourselves and not always mom or caregiver or advocate. Just us. Recently we were all talking about books and resources we’ve found helpful as parents. Some of us have kids with tough behaviors. My own kids have bipolar and struggle with behaviors…
What I wish for my little girl
She’s only 8 years old. But she has been through more than anyone I know in her young life, both from her foster care history and because of her bipolar. My heart is in a hundred pieces for her much of the time. And so, I’m sharing something a little different today. Something from the depths of my heart on behalf of my daughter…
When she won’t hug Grandma
We flew 8 hours with 4 kids and umpteen bags across the country to visit Grandma. Within 2 minutes they’d already hurt her feelings. It’s always been stressful to balance the expectations of extended family and the needs of my two older girls, adopted as toddlers from foster care. Both their difficult history and their…
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