As parents, we spend years focused on our child’s education. We want to know what they’re learning, how they are progressing, how it will all fit into their future endeavors, not only with later grade levels but with life. We want to do the best we can to help them succeed.

Which is why when a child has learning challenges, whether because of special needs, developmental disabilities, or other struggles with comprehension and retention, parents often look to professional resources for help.

PCI Education is one such resource.

Billing themselves as “Your Special Education Partner,” PCI Education has been offering top-quality education products and services for more than 20 years. With materials for all grade and learning levels, PCI Education carries products for a variety of subjects, including social studies, math, science, life skills, reading, spelling, and more.

PCI Education products are used to support students in public schools and home schools, by teachers and parents alike. Key facts about PCI Education:

• PCI Education products are highly visual, with a clean and uncluttered layout to assist struggling learners.

• Lesson plans include many tactile and kinesthetic activities to foster increased motivation and retention.

• Game formats allow students to interact with the subject.

• The company’s products serve five diverse markets: secondary special education, secondary at-risk, elementary special education, intellectual disabilities, and English language learners.

Help Us Choose the Giveaway Item

Later in the month, we are going to be offering a giveaway of some of the items that PCI Education has on their site. Visit through the link above and let us know in the comments which items you would like to see offered as a giveaway.

Stacey Nerdin is a busy work-at-home mom of 5 currently living in the Houston metro area. She’s been blogging since 2005 and writes about anything at everything at her blog Tree, Root, and Twig. Stacey believes that in life and online, everything is connected.

Wednesday was Jack’s IEP.

Let me give you a little back story here. Jack’s “teacher” is a special education professional, who routinely wears fake hair and loud (loud isn’t the best adjective, but that’s all I can come up with) jumpers/sweaters. We refer to her as The General, because, quite frankly, that’s how she acts. Things go her way or no way. So, you know about how well that works with special needs kids, right?

Yeah.

Anyway, The General had a death in her family and couldn’t make the IEP, so she sent her underling. Sitting in my living room, we had the SLP, the Underling, and us. We discussed Jack’s strengths and weaknesses. We discussed my concerns.

We are getting an assistive technology evaluation (yippee!). They are also sending out an occupational therapist to see us. Although, we were told they won’t do therapy at the house (so, like, what’s the point?).

They then began to admonish us for not putting Jack in school. They acknowledge that there are major health concerns (oh, you know, what’s wrong with subjecting him to death for the sake of school?), but they want him to enter the Medically Fragile Classroom. This classroom is located approximately 47 minutes from my house. I asked about the home bound program, and they said that it would probably be difficult to have the doctor write a note to allow that (really? The kid is on palliative care, I’m pretty sure that’s not a problem!).

It just was.

It wasn’t great. It wasn’t terrible. It just was. I utilized my gift of humility and grace, while still using my educated, non-aggressive words to get my points across. It worked well. It’s over.

Now, on to bigger and better things!

You know, I’ve read books about the IEP, I’ve watched speakers talk about the IEP, I’ve talked to teachers about the IEP… and I’ve listened to my other special needs friends talk about IEP.

And, I think we’re all wrong.

ALL OF US.

1. The books- they were written about specific children in specific scenarios. As far as I’m concerned, each child is unique and differently abled, so let’s not put all Special Needs kids in a box and get everyone hyped up about it.
2. Speakers- They speak on their own experience, not on mine. And 9 times out of 10, I can’t even relate to them.
3. Teachers- Teachers speak from their side. Not all of them want what is best for our kids, they want what’s best for the environment. That’s not to say that some teachers aren’t fantastic (because they ARE!), but some hate the IEP because it forces them to do extra things that they just really don’t want to do.
4. Parents- Oh parents. The IEP is set up to provide a set of goals for the child. This does not mean that it is all out war. I have heard far too many stories of parents going in, guns a’blazin’, to the IEP meeting. This does nothing for your position. It makes you look like you aren’t educated and it will cause animosity. This is not about YOU. It’s about your child. (and yes, I realize that your child is an extension of you…and that you want what’s best…)

So, here’s my plan to make IEP day much easier…and totally tolerable for everyone involved.

1. Get up, get dressed, put on deodorant, and wear something other than lounge pants and your husband’s college hoodie.
2. Stop at the local grocery store/bakery and pick up some cookies, doughnuts, or treats to share with everyone.
3. Make sure you have any documentation that you may need from your physicians, etc., organized and readily available. Not having something makes this process so much more difficult.
4. Catch the bees with honey, not vinegar! If someone rubs you the wrong way during your meeting, stop and take a deep breath. Compose your thoughts and provide a rebuttal that is dripping with sweetness. For example: If you want phyical therapy to help your child through the lunch line, and they say NO…You could say “Well my kid needs help and you’re going to give it to him or else!” OR You could say, “I had hoped that someone would help him through the lunch line, so that the poor janitor was not stuck cleaning up his lunch from the floor every single day.”
5. Remember: You have the right to refuse services too! If they want to over-service your child, and you know that that will cause issues, you can tell them you don’t think that’s an appropriate action.

School is not ideal in any way…especially not for our kiddos. We just have to employ all the tools we have in our back pockets to make it as tolerable as possible.

Even if that means we have to tame a pit of vipers.

I know what your thinking…NEW SCHOOL YEAR?   How many days till school starts???  I have a friend that started counting the minute summer started.  I enjoy our homeschooling time together.  I love the beginning of a new year…the goals for the year, the dreams of what you want to work on, the reality of what will really happen.  The fresh Sharpened pencils, crayons (even though we have 12 boxes already), the paper, the books, the construction paper…the excitement…the adventures. 

This past school year offically closed today.  My son had his evaluation that we have to turn into our school system with our next notification letter for the upcoming school year.  Our evaluation is a little different.  We take in the scrapbook of pictures of our work because the really is our samples of the year at school.  We don’t have worksheets, we don’t have projects we can present, we have pictures of therapy sessions, pictures of field trips, loooooonnnnngggg lists of books we read over and over again.  Descriptions of art projects, descriptions of fine arts (music) although I’m thinking we might have to invest in a tape recorder to tape some of the vocalizations that are happening more often & for longer periods of time.   We are fortunate to have a licensed teacher that was a special education teacher do our evaluation.  We take our scrapbook (new one every year) and a summary of things we’ve worked on.  I’m always nervous to go have the evaluation done.   Then after she looks over things and we talk…she signs the paperwork and gives me what I need to continue.  Afterwards I always feel so much better.  I second guess myself and if I’m doing more damage then good.  But then deep down I already know he’s blossomed.  He’s doing so much more than the doctors ever expected him to do.  We’ve been out of therapy for over a year now…I’m not missing it, not sure he is either…but the doctor finally requested that we return to therapies…so we’re headed back 1 time a month.  seems hardly worth it, but new insurance only covers 20 visits per year of OT and PT seperate. 

So here’s to another year under our belt.  Here’s to another year of growth and learning.  Here’s to another year of reading books (gonna knock this year out of the park). 

What’s your favorite part about this time of the year?  Is there just one supply that you HAVE TO BUY because it’s back to school time?  Does anyone have those new crayola dry erase crayons & wipe board?  what do you think of it? 

Wish you & your kids a wonderful school year!  May your children reach all their IEP goals.  May all your teachers understand you and your child.  And may your children exceed their expectations! Wishing you MANY  sucessful years to come!

We’ve developed a really good system for getting the child to eat when we are together as a family. Like most things now that it has become the routine she doesn’t even need a lot of support for this most of the time, but occasionally she is too tired, anxious, excited, distracted, or angry to sit and eat. When we’re at home we know what to do, and it works for her. She’s even moved way beyond most of her picky eating phase and will try new and unusual things. The more unusual the better. The other night at a restaurant she tried mussels – something her mom (ahem) wasn’t even too sure about trying. They were pretty good (I had two to be a good example). She ate about eight of them…more than some of the adults…and would have eaten more if we had ordered another round. I think she was sort of intrigued that they came in their shells and therefore had to try them.

So the issue remains: how to get her to eat when we aren’t there to supervise and support. The other day at a church potluck she wanted to sit with the other kids and eat (social triumph!), but a little while later she brought me her untouched plate of food and said she was too full to eat. Whatever had happened there was no convincing her that she needed to eat some food, and though she agreed to eat later, it never happened. At school she is given two opportunities to eat – a morning snack and lunch. I’ve slowly refined my method for packing these, trying always to optimize how much she will eat. We have a “healthy” foods policy at school, so we can’t send junk foods. I ask her what she wants and we come up with a good mix of fruit and carbs, but protein seems to be a sticking point. There are only a few that she will agree to pack in her lunch, and that is always under some amount of protest. I even conceded to packing a hot dog for a few days, hoping that wouldn’t get the “healthy” food police down on us. Many times the entire snack and lunch will come back home and I’ll pick up a hungry and grumpy girl from school.

I know this problem is not unique to us, or even to special needs children. The question is what can we do about it, or should we just not worry about it too much? We’ve tried asking for more support for this during our IEP meetings, and not much has changed. I do what I can to motivate her from home, but honestly I think it is a social anxiety related issue. When she is sitting with other children (witness church potluck above) without a lot of adult support she is probably overwhelmed with just trying to say and do the right thing and/or distracted by all of the talking and energy surrounding her. Some combination of these two effects, and she can’t eat.

Is this an issue you face with your child? How do you handle it? What strategies do you have in place to ensure your child has the fuel they need to perform at their best?

DH and I met a lovely woman at the support group we attended last fall.  Her son is similar in age to Precious and has a similar diagnosis; mild developmental disability.  I emailed Steph a month or so ago and she, her husband and her son came over and hung out with our family for a few hours.

Cole and Precious played together somewhat, as did our older daughter.  All the kids ended up on the trampoline.  They really seemed to enjoy themselves and my older daughter loved to ‘mother’ Cole.

It was so nice to connect with Cole’s parents and ask them about their experiences with the school board as their son is in the same one as our daughter.  Since their child is so similar to ours, I wonder why we didn’t get offered special bussing like their son, and why we don’t have an individualized education plan.  The school board expected our daughter to walk 500 metres to the bus stop and take the regular bus.  Since we drive her to the before and after school program, it became a non-issue.

Our friends had to fight to get special transport for their son, and if Precious ends up in the special class next year, she will be bussed.  We told the daycare where our other two kids go that we would be going there next year if there’s a space for Precious and she seemed surprised that we would be able to bus there.  Now I’m questioning if we can get service from our house in the morning and to the daycare in the afternoon.

I have to admit I’m getting a little stressed out.  I’m not sure what school my child is going to next year.  I don’t know what the alternatives are if she doesn’t get in, AND I don’t know what daycare she’ll go to either way as the before and after school program was only open to kindergarteners this year.

Ideally, Precious will go to the closest school with a primary special needs class, and get picked up at home in the morning with a special bus, and be bussed to the same daycare as my other two kids after school, on the special bus.

If another couple of weeks pass before the committee makes a ruling on which kids will get into the primary special needs class, it will be too late for us to get this all straightened out before school starts in September.  My stomach is in knots just thinking about it!

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The recent post about the great school system from Tiffany , it made me jealous.  Really, really jealous.  This is not a feeling I often have, if ever, but I’ll say it out loud …I want what she has.

We are just about to embark on the transition from Early Childhood (self-contained) to General Education (least restrictive enviornment). Our district does not offer a blended program, or a transition program or really any in between.  You are either general education with resources, related services and so forth or you are in the self-contained classroom.

It’s a very frustrating process to try and figure out what the next move should be for our son, and I can’t get into all the details or this post would be hours long.  In fact there are very, very few people you can actually to talk with it about who will truly understand what you are trying to explain.  One friend said the other day “just pick a preschool out  of hat”… if only it were that easy.

So as I try to figure out should we send my son to a typical preschool to given him another year to prepare for the big move to gen ed, or move him on to Kindergarten (which quite frankly sounds like I might be throwing him to the wolves if you talk to some people). I’m looking for advice on any resources to consider.  There are days when I am so disenchanted with our system, I have even thought about moving to another district, yet we haven’t even gotten into the heart of the district so to speak.   We are in this nice little cocoon of 10 kids with IEPs – all making progress, working hard and loving our team.  For my son and I this will all disappear at the end of this year and we start the next chapter.

Why does it seem like every chapter in this book of special needs is getting harder and harder to read?

As I am typing this Winter Solstice is winding down and I am rejoicing, not in the pagan holiday sense, but in the “Hooray! Days will start getting longer again,” sense. I have been considering the “seasons” that our family goes through each year. Of course we tread through the normal calendar with everyone else, but there are some additional unique annual passages for us. I’m hoping that recognizing them will help me be more prepared with strategies to stay organized, happy, and healthy.

From mid-February through May we are in transition planning mode. We have our annual IEP meeting here. Last year’s was a doozy. This year we’ll have our first triennial review. This is also my husband’s busiest work time. We get ready for Summer and look even further ahead to the next school year. The up-side of this season is that our routines for the current school year are pretty well established and the house starts running like a well-oiled machine. Just in time for…

Summer! We start off exhausted from our school schedule and slide into “what shall we do with ourselves” territory. If Spring planning has gone well I am prepared with some structured activities (social skills groups, gymnastics, swimming) and some calendar fillers (visits to the park, the city, and play dates). This year will be different as my “littles” are growing up and are ready to try out a class of their own. I’m leaning toward gymnastics just to hopefully keep things simple.

Starting in August things really start to get busy, and they stay that way until we get back to February. In rapid succession we have my birthday, pear season (we have three pear trees that give a lot of fruit), school starts, my husband’s birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, end of the year (more work), New Years, twins’ birthday, daughter’s birthday, and Valentine’s Day — whew. This year we also squeezed three trips into this part of the calendar, which may explain why I’m not done with our Christmas letter or decorating yet. During this part of the year it is all I can do to hold on, keep getting things done, and trust that things will eventually slow down…a little.

• Each season has its own flavor, its own challenges, and its own benefits.
• Recognizing small details like {can’t send the kids out to play while I make dinner because it’s already dark out} helps me know when to pull out tools like my busy boxes.
• Knowing the busy season will end soon helps me hang on in the moment.
• Keeping these seasons in mind should help me know when to pare back on external commitments.

These are just four of the reasons I’m trying to pay attention to our family’s seasons.

Does your family have your own private set of seasons? What do they look like?

(reposted from the HennHouse)

We’ve traded late night, happy hour dates for early morning mini conferences on raising spiritually healthy special needs kids.

And we wouldn’t change a thing…

We’ve traded Big Ten athletic events for seventh grade basketball tryouts.

And we wouldn’t change a thing…

We’ve traded philosophical discussions about politics and superpowers for tearful heart-to-heart talks about how best to love a child who is incapable of positive attachment.

And we wouldn’t change a thing…

We’ve traded gym memberships for DVD workout programs done at four o’clock in the morning.

We’ve traded wine tastings for zoo visits.

Night clubs for dance parties in the living room.

Weekend getaways for overtime.

Afternoons of landscaping for weekend soccer tournaments.

Routine gourmet meals for crock pot stew.

Sports cars for dented, scratched SUVs that fit tiny, red wheelchairs and overstuffed schoolbags.

Professional development seminars for IEP meetings.

Long hours working on the climb up the ladder for evenings at home reading children’s books.

Big bank accounts for home equity loans.

The fast track for the mommy track.

Walls filled with certificates of accomplishment for a decidedly slower life filled with real accomplishments.

Life as we knew it for life as we know it.

And we wouldn’t change a thing.

It’s that time of year again – time to buy school supplies, Fall clothes, and healthy snacks for the school lunch box. It’s time to pay the exorbitant school fees for our children’s FREE education. And it’s time for parents of children with disabilities to see if they will face more battles with their school districts while trying to ensure their children receive an appropriate education.

I remember when my first child with disabilities entered the public school system. I was naïve and assumed everyone would love my child as much as I did, and would want to do everything they could to make her school experience a positive one. Along the way to high school where that youngest child now attends, I learned that her educational journey would not always be rainbows and unicorns.

If you could talk to that parent I was back then – the parent who trusted and believed in her educational system and its commitment to ALL children – what would you say? What would your advice be to new parent of children with disabilities, children who will start preschool or kindergarten this year?

Here’s my contribution to that parent, and please share yours in the comments:

Believe that your school district will care for your child. Believe they will always do what they can to ensure your child receives an appropriate education. But, document any issues – no matter how small. Prepare as if you will be one day be going to due process against your school district, but hope you never have to travel that path. That piece of advice, given to me so many years ago, made all the difference to my child. 99% of parents who take their school districts to due process lose. I prevailed at due process and my daughter did receive the education to which she was entitled because I followed that advice given to me over 13 years ago.