A Dad’s Eye View

One of the things that frequently runs through my mind when I come to contribute to 5MFSN is that after almost 11 years of having a daughter with Down’s Syndrome, I don’t carry anything like the number of anxieties I did when she was born.

We’ve been through the not feeding properly, the open heart surgery, the decision about whether we put her through mainstream education or special schooling. This means Meg’s DS is virtually a non-issue 99%of the time.

This makes it difficult to think what to contribute to 5MFSN each time I sit at the computer.

Another thing I’ve noticed is the vast majority of contributors and commenters on this site are mothers.

So I’ve had a thought…

A Dad’s Eye View

My guess is, that while most mothers are able to be very empathetic and supportive for each other, some will be puzzled, curious, or outrightly confused by particular actions or reactions from the men in their lives, and a perspective from a father’s point of view could be useful.

Now this might be a superb idea, or an awful one. I have to admit it occured to me at 4am one morning, so I accept I could be on dodgy ground.

However, if anyone thinks this is a good idea then I’m happy to post a weekly, fortnightly or monthly slot, depending on demand, to answer questions from a father’s perspective.

Your thoughts on this would be appreciated.

Please leave your comments, ideas and questions in the comments of this post. Or, if you would like me to write about an issue but don’t wish your name to be publically associated with it, feel free to email me at kimayres // at // gmail.com, where your privacy is assured.

Kim Ayres
Kim is usually to be found at his own blog, Ramblings of the Bearded One. Although you will find tales about his daughter, Meg, under his “Down’s Syndrome” category, you’ll find far more simply under “Fatherhood

Kim Ayres lives in Scotland and is the father of Meg, who was born in 1998 with Down's Syndrome. He can discuss heart operations, fears, concerns and worries but generally feels 98% of raising a child with special needs is just about raising a child.
Kim Ayres
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9 Responses to A Dad’s Eye View
  1. Alicia @ Experiencing Each Moment
    February 12, 2009 | 3:29 pm

    Fantastic idea!

  2. Heidi @ GGIP
    February 12, 2009 | 4:28 pm

    I also think it is a fabulous idea. Isn’t this what the internet is for? To expand our horizons a little bit and stretch ourselves?

  3. Karin
    February 12, 2009 | 8:03 pm

    I agree. It is a good idea. A lot of the folks who post and comment are moms, but in my life, there are dads and granddads, and uncles, and friends of the family who come here to read. They don’t say much. But they want to know as much.

  4. Sandi @ Life with Jessica
    February 12, 2009 | 11:17 pm

    I think its a great idea! We all have a lot to learn from each other.

  5. Kim Ayres
    February 13, 2009 | 6:28 am

    It’s great to get such positive feedback. Now it just remains to be seen whether anyone asks anything :)

  6. Trish
    February 13, 2009 | 11:19 am

    Ok, I’ll go out on a limb here…

    I’m not sure how to phrase this, and it might apply more with a son, but do you have any thoughts for a guy who may sometimes feel less than a man because his son is “broken.”

    Our son is wonderful and we both love him very much and see many strengths and gifts in him, but I know there are those inevitable twinges and that it makes it harder for my husband sometimes.

  7. Dawn
    February 13, 2009 | 12:39 pm

    I think it is a great idea!

    I do have some questions (I am new to this blog, so forgive me if this stuff has already been covered): How do you deal with the times when there doesn’t seem to be progress with your child? You feel like you are working so hard and nothing is changing/improving. How do you keep a positive outlook during those times? And how do you encourage your child when you are feeling discouraged?

  8. starrlife
    February 13, 2009 | 1:34 pm

    Is it for the moms/dads or both? I think it’s a good idea but don’t have any questions of my own…

  9. Kim Ayres
    February 14, 2009 | 12:12 pm

    Trish and Dawn, I’ll work on a reply and post it here next Thursday. Thanks for running with this idea – we’ll see how far it goes :)

    Starrlife – the questions can come from anyone, what I’m offering is a Dad’s perspective :)