The other day I was talking with a classmate—someone with whom I’ve recently become acquainted—and we got on the subject of autism. The conversation turned to my daughter, and I showed my friend a YouTube video of my daughter singing. The response I got was, “Wow, I would never guess she had autism.” I get that a lot; some folks go even further, telling me that my child looks so “normal.” What does normal look like, anyway? For that matter, what does autism look like?
Part of our family’s journey with autism has meant dealing with the public’s perceptions of what autism is and is not. When I was a teenager, “Rain Man” was in theaters, and Dustin Hoffman’s portrayal of an autistic man left an indelible impression on the minds of many people. From that time on, Hoffman’s Raymond was the persona that most people assumed personified the average autistic. For lots of autistic people and their families, educating the public about the autistic spectrum and the fact that no two auties are the same is important.
So what does autism look like? I don’t know that I can ever completely and succinctly answer that question. But I know this: I’d sooner be able to define autism than be able to define normal.
I hear similar things a lot. My 6 yr old son has Asperger’s and he looks “normal”.
What is ‘normal’? Normal is a dryer setting.
“The Speed of Dark” by Elizabeth Moon (page 83)
We are the same here. I actually have my sons pic on my blog and above it, it says “Would you think this child has autism”.
Tourettes is like that, too many wrong stereotypes
Yes and then there is the reverse situation where a NT child with a very obvious physical disability is treated as having inferior intelligence or worth. I work with children with autism and co-morbid disabilities which are my week day,every day normal, but sometimes I feel like I spend my life flitting between parallel universes, acting as an interpreter and ambassador for both. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for families to live in both worlds all day, every day. But I sure do admire you guys for doing life that way.
Very, very well said, Melinda! Some things are best left undefined.
(And LOL! Grace — love your quotes on “normal”
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This is so true. The comment I seem to get all the time about my autistic son is: “But he doesn’t look autistic!” Like it’s meant to reassure me, I guess? I have no idea. If anyone has a good comeback, please let me know!