Comments on: Acceptance Is Not Submission

By: Trish

Trish — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 03:12:00 +0000

That’s so true – we have to make decisions based on what we feel is best for our own children. And it is difficult enough to know what those choices should be without feeling pressure or judgment from other parents.

The trick is to live like you’ve got nothing to prove.

By: Ecki

Ecki — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 01:28:21 +0000

Thank you for this post! Oh, I got so irritated on a list, because some mom was feeling badly for all those “low functioning” kids who would be so much better if only they did (fill in the blank). HEY! My kid is “low functioning” and I do all that “stuff” so don’t assume I’m not doing “enough” because my kid isn’t doing as well as YOUR kid.

And don’t get me started on inclusion. Eeesh. Yes, my daughter is doing wonderfully in an integrated preschool, but our elementary school is woefully inadequate for her when it comes to Kindy. So I’ll be putting her in a special needs school. Because it’s right for HER. My kid is NOT an ambassador for special needs. She’s my kid!

OK, vent over.

By: Rickismom

Rickismom — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 21:21:16 +0000

There are so many paths, so many ways…. I always tell new parents that they will get pressure from here, there… and they ashould check things out, make a choice, and pray to G-d that He them success in whatever it is that they choose……

By: Julie

Julie — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 19:41:53 +0000

I love that quote…as I still find myself struggling with finding a balance between acceptance and intervention. This topic is so hard. I guess I simply don’t believe in a cure, but I want to help my son be the best person that he can be. I want him to be happy and to thrive. I guess that’s what every parent wants for their child.

By: Trish

Trish — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:10:09 +0000

Barbara, feel free to email the links to me at trish[at]anotherpieceofthepuzzle[dot]com; I’d be glad to read more on the topic.

Cale, I appreciate your input and will visit your posts soon.

Thank you both, & Stacey as well, for your thoughtful comments.

By: Stacey

Stacey — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:13:33 +0000

I am so glad that I got to read this post,
I also feel that any and everything that can be done to help our kids — be their best is my Goal!

By: Cale

Cale — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:19:53 +0000

I got into an interesting conversation about this topic in the comments section of one of my blog posts on neurodiversity.
http://frogger11758.wordpress.com/2008/11/13/112/#comments
(I can’t figure out external trackbacks either).

The way I see it, both opponents of and supporters of biomedical treatments (or insert therapy here), have the same goals: doing what is best for the child, and making the child as independent and capable as he can be. There is simply a difference in approach, and in ultimate goals. Biomed claims to cure autism, ABA and such claim to assist an autistic child in adjusting and becoming competent.
As an autistic individual, I have nothing against parents using biomed treatments (except for harmful ones such as chelation) to help their child. I am simply against the notion that they are necessary to cure the child and make them neurotypical, rather than allowing the child to function as an autistic individual.

On your second question, I’ve blogged about the whole scholastic system as well.
http://frogger11758.wordpress.com/2008/11/19/aspie-academics/
I found a system similar to the one you’ve chosen for your son to be useful: a mainstream program with supports, and a class once a week designed specifically for Aspies. This was ideal for me, but I understand that it may not work for all children. I think parents should have the right to look around and find what’s best for their children.

That turned out quite long, but I wish you success in whatever you proceed with.

By: Barbara

Barbara — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:20:09 +0000

Well said. Better than me – I’ve posted on ‘acceptance’ a couple of times, but darned if I can figure out ‘trackback’!

I encourage parents to make decisions for their children that feel right for them. But we all feel the ‘parent peer pressure’ for our decisions.

Do you ever wonder if the parents who are rigidly in one camp, pressing others to join them, are just expressing their genetic portion of the spectrum?

“But isn’t the answer also different for typically-developing children?”
Yes. And parents of typically-developing children have to rely on self-confidence to implement their decisions also.

By: Another Piece of the Puzzle » What Is Acceptance?

Another Piece of the Puzzle » What Is Acceptance? — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:05:31 +0000

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