The Friendship Station: A Special Needs Ministry


Last week, I shared about some of the challenges we have had with church attendance since our son Michael was diagnosed with autism in December of 2004. Many of you shared your own stories, both uplifting and heartbreaking, in the comments, and I appreciate your openness on this difficult topic.

Over the last year, we have seen some real progress in this area at our church, so I wanted to share what has been happening. I know there are many larger and more organized programs out there, but perhaps our example will encourage someone else that it’s okay to start small. :)

Shortly after a new director was put in charge of our children’s ministry, she expressed a desire to meet with each of the families who have a child with a disability to talk about their challenges and needs. Out of this came several common themes, which became the main goals of the special needs ministry:

  • The need for families to connect with each other for encouragement and fellowship.
  • The need for parents to be able to attend service without being worried about their children or constantly called out to take care of them.
  • The need to provide a safe, caring environment where the children were being ministered to at their level.

Making a Connection

The first goal was the easiest to begin addressing, which was done by setting up quarterly meetings for the parents on a convenient night and with childcare provided. It is a small group right now, but the opportunity to be together with other special needs parents in this setting has been wonderful.

Making a Plan

The ministry director and some of her team also began researching the topic of special needs ministry and evaluating what they could realistically put into place for the children currently represented in our church family.

They ended up deciding to create a classroom that would be specifically set aside for children with disabilities (called the “Friendship Station”), while also increasing the support of those children whose parents want them in a regular class. In order to not spread the volunteers too thin, the Friendship Station would be open on Saturday nights only.

I should explain that our church has two services on the weekend—a Saturday night and a Sunday morning—and no separate Sunday School program, so the children’s programs are running concurrently with the service. The Saturday service was the preferred choice of most of the families involved.

Making it Happen

While the team was working on the room, they were also gathering information from each family on their child and developing a “Religious Support Plan” that could be shared with the child’s teacher.

In addition, they prepared any needed materials for the children in the regular classrooms, such as visual schedules or communication books, and started talking with the regular teachers about what to expect and how to handle various situations.

At this point, the program is still very small, but it is having a powerful impact on the families involved. Although parents are not expected to volunteer, I had been feeling a desire to return to the children’s ministry, since my son is able to attend class without me, and have enjoyed spending time with the kids in the Friendship Station once a month. Our teachers are scheduled one month on, one month off, so there is consistency and familiarity in that area.

I know this has been an unusually long post, and I have probably provided too many details for some people and not enough for others. If you have any specific questions, please feel free to contact me through my blog or by emailing trish[at]anotherpieceofthepuzzle[dot]com.

Trish can be found writing here at 5MFSN every Friday in addition to hosting Try This Tuesday. You can also find Trish at her blog, Another Piece of the Puzzle.

Married for over 16 years and mom of a six year old son with autism, I spend most of my time as my Little Guy's case manager/advocate/ cheerleader/everything else.
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10 Responses to The Friendship Station: A Special Needs Ministry
  1. [...] we are doing to welcome the children with special needs, and their families, to our church. Please visit me there to find out more! Share and [...]

  2. Maddy
    November 7, 2008 | 9:39 am

    Good grief! I’ve heard of going the extra mile, but I haven’t witnessed it in reality. This is so inspiring. I’m delighted to hear such a positive story.
    Best wishes

  3. Jenny
    November 7, 2008 | 12:50 pm

    It makes me so happy to see churches addressing this need in their congregation! It sounds like your church has a great program in place! We now attend a very small start-up church, but I’m hoping one day our church can offer a similar ministry.

  4. JoyMama
    November 7, 2008 | 5:00 pm

    Trish – if I may ask, how large is your congregation? And, how many special-needs kids are involved with the program?

    I love reading about what your congregation is doing. Inspiring! At our church, we’re under a hundred in attendance at Sunday service, and right now only have two school-age kids with special needs (and mine is the only one attending regularly). So things are a lot more ad hoc, but there’s a lot that can be done that way too. One example that worked for a small congregation that would be hard in a large one: we had a young man – since moved away – with autism whose sensory triggers were really tripped by congregational applause. So the whole congregation took up using the ASL applause symbol instead of clapping. Also, we’ve got several people with special dietary requirements, though not related to learning disabilities… so the group committed to bringing along detailed ingredient lists with our potluck dishes, so people can reliably avoid what they need to avoid.

    Thanks for sharing what your church is doing!

  5. Trish
    November 9, 2008 | 3:46 pm

    JoyMama, I actually attend a pretty large church, with over 800 members and several hundred more who attend but aren’t members. At this point, we have less than 10 kids identified, of whom only 3 use the special needs room at this point, with the rest in regular classes.

    I am hopeful that as people become more aware of our desire to be supportive, both our parent group and the number of kids who attend will grow. Thankfully, there are several other churches in this area who are also reaching out to families with special needs children.

    It sounds like you have an awesome group of people in your congregation who are really willing to go the extra mile for each person who has a special need. Blessings to you!

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  8. Tracy Shea-Lewis
    September 24, 2009 | 3:17 pm

    I am so excited to see so many churches seeing the need out there for parents, like myself, who have children with special needs. I am beginning a ministry at our church for parents of children with special needs. My passion as a mom and a teacher is for children with special needs. Keep up the good work. God is moving mountains.
    In Christ,
    Tracy Lewis

  9. Amy Fenton Lee
    May 25, 2010 | 8:41 pm

    Your readers may be interested in the new blog launched specifically to help churches successfully include children with special needs. We take questions from children’s ministry teams across the US (and some from the UK) and find the best resources to provide answers and best practices.

    Check out “The Inclusive Church” Blog at
    http://theinclusivechurch.wordpress.com/

    Thanks!
    Amy Fenton Lee
    The Inclusive Church

  10. Nina Ornt
    September 20, 2010 | 2:30 pm

    My name is Nina. I am the mother of a special needs child, a special education teacher, and an advocate for individuals with special needs.
    I have worked very hard on inclusion of special needs children in church ministry. Our church has started having special needs services. We have had three very successful services to date, one for Christmas, one for Easter, and one this summer. A mother of a child with autism sends out a social story (paper and video) which previews what the children will be seeing ahead of time. I make picture schedules for the children showing step by step what is going on in the service as we go along. We have an occupational therapist who sets up a sensory take a break room for any child that might want to take a break during the service. The main theme of the service is simplified and shown in the form of a short simple pageant. After the service we have a cookie reception with gluten free cookies included for those on a special diet. We sometimes have special visitors such as the Easter Bunny and a live bunny at the Easter reception. The environment is filled with love and acceptance.
    I am trying to get word out to special needs families that these services exist. I would also like to know the religious needs of special needs families. For instance would you be interested in attending a church that offers special needs services and special needs Sunday School? I want to pass your interests and needs on to our Bishop in the hope of getting more churches involved in welcoming special needs children into their ministries. I would love your input. Please share with me your ideas of what a special needs ministry should include.
    You can email me at nko7@rochester.rr.com
    Thanks, Nina