Comments on: The Things People Have Said…

By: BQkimmy

BQkimmy — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:40:21 +0000

Excellent post Michelle. It is sad, but true.

I hate the stares we get when Meechi has one of his SPD meltdowns. I just want to scream at people sometimes.

By: edj

edj — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 18:23:58 +0000

Oh my word! I can’t believe that people actually say those things to you! How horrible. And here I was annoyed at having to argue with complete strangers in Target that my boy-girl twins were NOT identical nor could they be.
Seriously, what kind of idiot asks a mother (or anyone?) those questions? I’m blown away here. Please tell me you made the abortion one up. Please. AUGH.

By: Spring

Spring — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:40:47 +0000

We used to get comments because we’re a family formed by adoption and we’re obviously not related (different ethnicities). Now with our newest daughter being mentally ill, we don’t leave the house without comments or stares. After ten years, it doesn’t bother me anymore, but in the beginning…OUCH. It hurt.

Remember that a lot of times, people are concerned but don’t have the vocabulary and/or the sensitivity to ask a good question. I try to remain calm and reply gently, not just because my children are listening, but because every person I educate makes the world a better, more tolerant place for my children.

Thank you for the lovely post.

By: Danette

Danette — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 01:35:51 +0000

Thanks for posting this, I can relate to so many of these. Most of the rude comments we’ve gotten over the years have been less-than-complimentary input on our parenting skills… or the amateur doctors who think they know more about our kids than we do.

I love your statement, “If you think you know the whole story, stop and think again. Then give us the benefit of the doubt.” That is so true.

By: Rickismom

Rickismom — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:38:47 +0000

An excellent post!

Another one:
Oh! You must be SOOOOO special! I really admire you for keeping her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: LauraJ

LauraJ — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 12:30:52 +0000

very nice post. you forgot one though:
Does your child have a life expectancy, or what is your child’s life expectancy. (this WAS asked to me on occasion)
snarky reply: Excuse me? You’re asking me when my child is going to die? (In front of the child no less!!) Good grief person, get a life!
Actual response: I’m sorry that’s not something I discuss with others on a regular basis.

By: TiffandIvy

TiffandIvy — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 09:11:09 +0000

I get the try naturopathy, remedies witch doctor voodoo all the time and the constant insinuations that things would have been different in their day. It drives me batty. Especially people who tell me to take Ivy to the ER, they know her there and will treat her accordingly.

I loved this post.

By: All Rileyed Up

All Rileyed Up — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 07:12:41 +0000

Very well said. I have posted on a few occasions how much I can’t stand people asking me about my son’s skin and when they get the answer “severe eczema” I never fail to be amazed that everyone wants to tell me their wonderful solution. I try to be open-minded and think they’re just trying to help, but sometimes I just want to grab them and yell, “Yes! I use lotion!”

I am shocked that someone (several?) people actually asked you why you didn’t have an abortion. Really. And I don’t shock that easily. Wow. Some nerve.

By: Finding Normal

Finding Normal — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 02:26:37 +0000

So well written! I love being asked what’s “wrong” with my daughter. My favorite was being chased down by a stranger while we were on vacation to be told that my poor baby’s feet were sunburned and don’t I have sunscreen for her?!?! She has purple feet most of the time. No real diagnosis after several specialists, but that’s her normal. The feet were actually pink that day, which was a good thing. Then there was the woman staring with her hands on her heart as I fed Addison via g-tube at the aquarium. I gave her a weird look, repositioned, and turned around another minute later to find her relocated to stare yet again. People really have no sense sometimes.

By: Katie

Katie — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 01:31:00 +0000

Thanks so much for reminding us non-parent types to be sensitive!