Children with disabilities are children first, and children with disabilities farther down the line. Sometimes amidst the therapy sessions, doctor appointments, challenges and frustrations this simple truth is overlooked…even by us as their parents. I so don’t like when that happens.
Just remember…we don’t have to look very far to be reminded. Look, really look, at your child. Focus on your child’s abilities which, if you are looking in all the right places, far out number any disabilities. Often it is we who put the limits on our children. It is we who say “can’t”.
Resist speaking the words “you can’t do that”. Many times things which we believe to be beyond our child’s reach are accomplished through desire and perseverance. Clearly Lantz Lamback’s parents never said “you can’t do that”.
Lantz lives with cerebral palsy, and when I met him a couple of weeks ago, it was like watching a grown-up image of my son, Wil, who lives with CP. They have the same body build, the same stride, and gestures. Lantz is a competitive swimmer and gold medal Olympian. Wil wants to be a competitive swimmer, and is fortunate to be learning under the same instructor who first worked with Lantz.
Imagine Wil’s thrill in meeting Lantz and touching his Olympic gold medal…imagine what Wil imagines.
Wil, pictured above with Lantz Lamback who is the…
2008 Paralympic Gold Medalist & World Record Holder in 100m Backstroke
2008 Silver Medalist in 100m Freestyle
2008 Silver Medalist in 400m Freestyle
2008 Bronze Medalist in 50m Freestyle
and 2004 double Bronze Medalist
Don’t pressure your child to do more than he can do, but never expect him to do less than he can do. And never tell him “you can’t do that” if you’ve never given him a chance to try…because a chance is the gift that gives.
Melody can be found at 5M4SN every Tuesday; hosting Special Exposure Wednesday; and sharing her love of photography the second and fourth Saturdays each month in her column, Photographing Your Children. You will also find her at Slurping Life sharing photos and a few words from her special life.
I didn’t know Lantz’s history! wow! How impressive.
Will have some pretty great friends…….and a pretty great Mom too.
Along these lines, I recently stumbled across Lily’s Life is Great!, the blog of a 9 y.o. girl with Down syndrome who is acting in a movie! How cool! I wonder if this will link:
http://lilyslifeisgreat.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Jerk%20Theory
On a more personal note, I probably do look at my daughter as her diagnoses, mostly because her mental illness blocks me from getting to know her. What does she like? What is she good at? I know she’s good at math and swimming…maybe I should focus on those. You’ve given me something to think about and I thank you.
I learn A LOT here at 5 minutes for special needs!
Your words are so true. We must look like our children as children first and not their diagnosis. Although, when struggling to have a therapy covered, to help him close gaps in his delays and help him to overcome his aggressive and active seeking tendencies…it can be hard to look at him as just a kid. But goodness, it does feel good when we step back a bit and just enjoy who he is…a wonderful child!
Thanks for the reminder.
A thrill indeed. My brother was covering the Paraolympics in Beijing. Although he’s a journalist [lives in Beijing] he wanted a few pointers so I suggested that he listen to the ‘Ouch’ Podcast to help with some insight as it covers all kinds of disabilities [yes I know it's from the BBC and therefore I'm biased, but it certainly helps spread a wider perspective.]
Best wishes
Thank you. I feel like I should say more than that, but I can’t figure out which words to use…so just Thank you.
Melody, Thanks for the reminder. Especially when we are around neuro-typical kids my daughter’s age, I can focus on what she can’t do. When I think about all the things she can do, I get a lot more hopeful.
Beth
What a wonderful experience for Wil! He certainly gets around.
Good reminder not to put limitations on our kids, or on anyone for that matter. Thanks, Melody.
This is a great post, and so true, esp “Often it is we who put the limits on our children.: I often have to take a step back and remind myself to let them be. Thanks for this post!