October 16, 2008
Having "The Talk"
First, an update:
Thanks to everyone for your supportive comments about last week’s “Mean Girls” post. I decided that it would be appropriate to talk to the woman about 1) the fact that she did touch my child and 2) that her comments were hurtful to my daughter. This woman was already told that she was being insensitive and a poor example to her children, and it didn’t faze her. I felt it would be a waste of my time to discuss that with her again. I did, however, want to talk to her about how her words and actions hurt my child specifically.
Unfortunately, I never got the chance to do so. This parent, and her children, have apparently stopped coming to the studio (at least for now). What I heard from other parents was that the woman was ruffling many feathers with parents and the teachers. The mom started making demands that weren’t sitting well with anyone. After the director of the school was unwilling to bend to her will, the woman decided to bolt. So in the spirit of letting go, I’m doing just that.
I’ve got bigger fish to fry.
My daughter is approaching puberty, and I am in a panic! Aside from the physical changes that accompany this stage in her life, I’m noticing emotional changes. Zoe is starting to notice boys, and she’s asking questions about how her body and attitudes are changing.
Zoe can pretty much ask me anything; and I am trying to keep my responses to her questions appropriate based on her age and what I think she can understand. I don’t want to overwhelm her with too much information, but I don’t want her learning about sexual development from other kids (we all know how well THAT can go over). So I’m scared and need help!
Can anyone give me some suggestions? Are there any books out there to help parents talk to daughters about sex? Experienced parents, I’m looking to you for your wisdom!
It's Your Turn To Help...
Thanks! Kirtsy is our Favorite. :)
5 Comments on Having "The Talk" »
#1 - Amazing_Grace @ 7:29 pm
I highly recommend the following two books:
It's Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris
Autism-Asperger's & Sexuality by Jerry and Mary Newport
#2 - Deborah @ 7:36 pm
I agree with Amazing Grace about the book, It's Perfectly Normal. I like it very much.
I have 4 teenagers - they are now 18, 17, 16, and 13. Trust me, puberty can be a rough ride, but it can also be a wondrous and special time.
The best thing I did with my kids was to speak open and honestly. Believe me, we had some tough issues to deal with since two of my children, whom I adopted, had been sexually abused. But, I think they really responded to my open, no nonsense approach. Once they figured out they weren't going to shock me, they relaxed and we talked about anything and everything.
Even when it got (gets) rough, it's so wonderful to watch them growing up - almost like watching roses bloom - beautiful, just beautiful!
#3 - Rickismom @ 9:04 pm
I found woodbine's book VERY helpfull, with PRACTICAL HOW-TO advice. Although it is directed towards parents of children with DS, I am sure that much of it is transferable and aplicable to other children as well.
http://www.woodbinehouse.com/main.asp_Q_product_id_E_978-1-890627-33-1_A_.asp
#4 - Beth @ 9:42 pm
I second the Woodbine House book! I have been using it with my 10 year old daughter and we both really like it. I have recommended it to families that have children with various disabilities (my daughter has Ds), and all have found it helpful.
Teaching Children with Down Syndrome about Their Bodies, Boundaries, and Sexuality
A Guide for Parents and Professionals
by Terri Couwenhoven, M.S.
It's available at Barnes and Noble too, and Amazon.
#5 - Tammy and Parker @ 4:32 pm
I'm going to be scoping out a few new books…