Try This Tuesday #13: What Should I Try?

I think honesty is the best policy. Maybe start slow and lay it out for him. My daughter is 7 with PDD-NOS and she is starting to realize that she is not getting the same food as others since she is on the SCD diet. I've just tried to speak to her assuming she undertstands everything I tell her, which I m not sure she doesn't. In our case, she is very non-verbal, so we don't have the "broadcasting" issue.

That's a tough one that I'll have to think about for a while and get back to you [although knowing me I'll probably forget]

So saying we just had a nasty bout of negative talk tonight, so I'm all worn out from counteracting it as I just can't let an incident pass without addressing it positively so that we can all get a good night's sleep.

Send me a reminder.
Best wishes

Well since your child is verbal maybe you can let him watch some movies with you related to autism like the Rain Man or the Beautiful Mind of if you can find this documentary Invisible Walls he might understand.

Give a positive tone on his difference. If there are autism centers giving seminars near you and they have this material showing characteristics of autism it could help too.

Wow, Trish, I've got no advice to offer you as we haven't dealt with that issue. But, I'm so glad you brought this up. It's something that keeps me awake sometimes, worrying about how we will address this in the future. I look forward to reading the other comments!

Hi Trish,

I have two boys on the autism spectrum. I started talking about autism with my oldest when he was seven. There are a lot of good books specifically for kids to help explain autism — some are to explain autism to the person who is on the spectrum, and some are stories to explain it to peers. I like "I Have Autism" published by Super Duper (www.superduperinc.com); it is short, brief and good for kids your son's age. I also like "I am Utterly Unique" and "Amazingly Alphie". You can find these books at http://www.asperger.net or other online sites.

Another thing I do is model person-first language. We say "you have autism", not "you're autistic". I want my kids to see that having autism is one (among many) things about them, and doesn't define who they are.

Hope this is helpful! - Victoria
Gotta disagree about the movie recommendations - I have yet to see a movie that depicts autism in a positive way. They all either have savant characteristics or are psychic.

Probably the sooner you start talking about it the better. Like adoption, parents should probably start early.

Thank you so much for this post! I have a son who is autistic, and I had not even considered telling him about his diagnosis yet. You know, sometimes I end up doing the same thing I get irritated with other parents for doing– assuming he wouldn't understand. You have encouraged me to do that for him.

I guess I am not one to give advice (since you have taught me something!), but I think that if he is aware of the differences between him and others, maybe it would give him peace to know. Please let us know how it goes.

I know there are new books out on this subject, but since I have not used them I can only tell you about what I used.

Try This Tuesday #12: Explaining To Your Child That He Has AS

Oh, Trish- I have no idea. This is something I need to learn myself. I feel for your son especially since he's starting to notice and his self esteem is suffering. Maybe as you explain some of his "weaknessess" you can also focus on his strengths. Here is a link I was given when Daniel was diagnosed. I am interested in finding out more and going back to read the other comments. Best wishes and good luck!!!

P.S. I like that you've asked a question this time… I find that usually I have more questions than answers, so I like to read the responses.

Ricki has Down s., not Autism, so I am not sure if this would work the same… but what we did was this:
The year that Ricki should have gone to first grade, her private teacher and I made a book. It showed a child with CP and leg braces. The story was about her painting a picture. The leg braces were pointed out, but not emphasised. Later, we made a book where each page showed a child with a disability, and what tools they had to help them. For Down syndrome, I specifically did NOT use Ricki, but another girl.
I also made a matching game of child card (disability) and tools. The teacher mentioned casually that Ricki had some trouble learning, so she had a private teacher.
Then, when seeing someone with DS, I would casually mention that they had DS. After a few weeks, we broke the news to her. She wasn't too happy, but not too sad either. Slowly she has come to accept the diagnosis.

Hi Trish,
Sorry to post so late…I wrote a post on my site about how we told our 2, one has medical special needs, the other is mentally ill with PDD-NOS, learning disabilities, and a long list of other diagnoses. We've had to be creative with helping her deal with teasing; she's fragile.

Glad you're starting the conversation. Keep it simple. Not too much info; use "his language", language he's comfortable with. Hope this helps. I know you'll do a great job with this!

Thank you all so much for your ideas. You've given me a lot to think about and I appreciate everyone's input very much.

I am definitely planning to take it slow and steady!