Max is a pretty social kid—but crowds? They freak him out.
This weekend, we were at an event and we had to take an outdoor group photo. It was a very, very large group. Max started wailing at the sight of everyone standing there. My husband was holding him, and even though he was talking to him soothingly and holding him tight, and I did the same, nothing helped. Max just kept wailing.
Clearly, it’s sensory overload. The real mystery is that Max can be more than fine at an insanely noisy place like Chuck E. Cheese’s. I mean, the din in that place gets to me and yet Max is a happy, happy camper when he’s there.
I don’t get it. I’m wondering if any of you have dealt with this, and what’s helped your child?
Ellen blogs daily at Love That Max
Photo/The Visions of Kai
My son is almost 8 years old has SPD, and we usually use either gum– or the ipod –(or both) and as long as the picture is meant to be casual I let him keep the ipod on for the picture– I just require that he look up and “fake” a smile.
Pipe cleaners- work sometimes also.
I can’t help with the what to do but can say we have the same problem with Moo. He goes into sensory overload at the most unexpected places and yet is okay at the places you think would be a problem.
My daughter is the same way. I have figured out that at Chuck E Cheese, no one is looking at, or talking to her. At large family gatherings, people will look at her and talk to her, and that is too much for her. Some will even get close to her and she doesn’t like that. She is fine, as long as she can stay back and watch, but the moment anyone looks at her, she is overwhelmed.
My daughter doesn’t like walking through a crowd. I haven’t completely figured it out, but if there are people between her and where she needs to be she just won’t go. This is problematic at the beginning/end of the school day with the knot of parents and kids at the door. Generally I walk just a bit behind her with my hand at the small of her back or behind her head. Just enough pressure to encourage her forward, and modeling saying excuse me when she needs to get through.
Our little man is 10 and we have had to deal with this since he was three.At C.C.s he is immersed in the games and is totally focused on getting to the next one.When we have to be in a photo or large crowd,I make sure he has his gameboy. I go to the pawnshops and find used games,then give him one when we get to where we are going.With ear phones in,he will do pretty much what we need him to as long as no one touches him.
Our Li’l Empress has similar reactions to big gatherings of people. Mostly, it comes out in anxious checking and re-checking for my location. Occasionally, it gets too much for her and she has what we call her “Royal Melt Down” where she screams and panics and needs to be picked up, hugged close and removed from the thick of the crowd. Again, it’s usually in the more relational gatherings like a big b’day party we recently hosted, than it is in places like the grocery store or our local indoor playland. We never go to Chuck E. Cheese (I abhor that place!)so I don’t know how she’d handle it.
I know hers is a function of her hearing loss – too many voices and background noises at once. When sustained over a long-ish period of time, she just reaches a max and needs to pull away. And from what I hear from adults who have the same kind of hearing loss, it’s likely that this will always be an issue for her. We’ll have to find other ways to cope as she grows. But for now, at three, and struggling with separation anxiety to boot, I am the go to Momma for the issue.
And honestly, now that I know all that I know and have learned about her hearing loss, I am kinda ready for a “pull back” during events like that too. So we go somewhere quiet for a few minutes and rest our ears and our brains together.