Recently, my husband applied for a new job. This job would have taken us out of our current situation (No family, no help, no children’s hospital unless we drive 3 hours…one way) to another state. This state currently holds all of our family, and most of our friends. Convenient, eh?
So, he interviewed. It went well. All signs were pointing to packing boxes and putting up a “for sale” sign!
Until he came home from work and told me they had given the job to someone else.
The thing is, we need this.
Unfortunately, we live in a world that no longer values the loyalty of employees or what the needs of the family are. We are the family that probably spends the most money on insurance yearly. We didn’t intend for that to be. It just is.
Years ago, a company would make sure that the family was happy and taken care of as well as just the business.
Years ago, an employee with 25 years of experience was looked at as a respected member of the company—not someone who is worth throwing out for new, fresh meat.
What has happened?
The problem is, when you have a child with complex medical needs, you need to have stability. We can’t move all around willy nilly. So what do we do?
(this is one of those times when I wish I was independently wealthy…)
It does stink, doesn’t it? Employees are not “assets” anymore–they’re tools, to be used and discarded as the employer sees fit. The company can hire two young, hungry newbies in good health, with no or few family members, and their insurance outlay AND salary expenses will be less than they were paying for the one senior, experienced worker. If they can do it for less, they will.
It will be this way so long as there is high unemployment–employers can pick and choose, and pay bottom dollar. When the economy rebounds, things will change, but in the meantime, a lot of people will continue to feel a great deal of pain.
This unkinder, ungentler attitude by corporations toward their workers has been building for decades. It isn’t just the US that takes this attitude, even Japan, which used to pretty much “employ for life” now sees employees as fungible, depending on their circumstances and bottom line. There is no loyalty–by companies toward workers, or workers toward companies–anymore. There’s only greed and self-interest.
Unfortunately, this country, as a whole, is just not ready to accept as reality a higher tax obligation in order to foster a society that provides for basic needs for all its citizens. It’s why we return corporate crooks to Congress, it’s why these Tea Party people are so popular. It’s why so many people like to make fun of the French, who DO take care of their population in that manner. It’s why people who can’t afford it are paying thousands out of pocket for medical insurance, and it’s why some young kids who fought in Vietnam are now old men with serious physical and mental issues, living in fear under bridges, who aren’t getting the help they both need and deserve as a consequence of their honorable service. It’s why some children and elderly, in this great nation, go to bed cold and hungry. It shouldn’t be this way. Unfortunately, it IS this way.
I have no magic wand to help you. I can only say I empathize. Our country has some curious priorities. Perhaps the next generation will do what the Boomers tried and failed to do. I wish I could be more sanguine, but I won’t hold my breath. Greed is so attractive to some, and there’s no convincing them that a little bit of compassion goes a long way.
I couldn’t have said it better myself! Thanks so much! It’s so hard. Ugh.
We are in a situation where not moving is not an option, my husband is in the military. You hope that the place you get will be a place that has everything you need (there are special needs programs but if you get the wrong person assigned to you it might as well not even be there). The insurance is amazing, but hopefully there are providers in your area with the specialties that you need. It is so hard to get your network of doctors and other providers all set up only to have to set up yet again in a few years.
Moving sucks big time when you have a kid with special needs. Thankfully we have been rather lucky with out transfers and he has gotten the care he needed.
We live in a military town…unfortunately, the doctors are just not here. They are in big places…not in small towns!
I hate moving…but this is one time I really wanted it to happen!
Many of those “civilian” doctors are presently serving on active duty as reservists, not only in Iraq and Afghanistan, but at many of the military hospitals both in the US and Europe and Asia, augmenting staffs that have been deployed to the theater of operations. A lot of them could not afford their medical degrees if they didn’t “pay back” their grants/have their loans forgiven as a consequence of serving in the reserves. It is exacerbating an already-existing shortage of medical professionals.
As combat operations wind down, they will slowly be returned to civilian status. The rebound effect of increased medical availablility in the civilian sector is usually slower, as the wounded still must be treated and it takes some time to either return them to civilian or VA care and “demob” the reservists and return them to their communities.
America needs more doctors. Unfortunately, the American Medical Association likes the situation the way it is. Imagine if we had enough doctors to serve in small, isolated communities and the inner cities so that everyone could get the care they deserve? Picture a doctor who could make a HOUSE CALL to a child who is wheelchair-bound on a cold February morning? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
If we had plenty of doctors, the good news is, everyone would get treated. The BAD news is, it would take longer for doctors to become millionaires, as prices would be depressed. See, that’s the sticking point. That’s why we don’t have more medical schools in the USA. That’s why it is so damn hard for a medical school to be “certified” in this country. That’s why there’s a shortage of medical care–the AMA, as a consequence of greed and self interest, want to keep prices high.
I think we also consider that starting up with a whole new set of doctors and therapists would also be detrimental to our family’s well being. It is just another wrench to throw into the machine… No decisions are easily made.
See, if I was at all attached to his doctors I would be ok…as it is, I drive 4 hours round trip to take him to the specialists. That’s no good!
We actually had the exact opposite thing happen to us. My husband was “offered” a transfer/promotion to London, and the understanding was that either he moved up or moved on. But when he explained why we absolutely could not move our autistic, language disabled son to a totally new health care system where they pronounced everything differently, they put him down on some “don’t move him” list and we’ve been OK.
I so wish it worked well for you too.