To say that this surprise strained our marriage would be an understatement. Thank God we had the skills and the sense to keep ourselves out of free fall and to know when we needed to put newest’s needs on the back burner and tend to ourselves. About 6 months or so after meeting our newest daughter, things got rocky. Scary rocky. Our marriage was strained to the breaking point and we had little energy or patience for one more thing. We were angry, and like peytonsmom, we took it out on each other.

But we were resilient and now that we’re becoming accustomed to our new family configuration, everything is getting better, our marriage included. We take time for our relationship now in a way we didn’t have to before: enforced scheduling, creative use of time, and real commitment to being nice to each other even when things kinda suck.

I do have a feeling that after withstanding serious trials like this, there is a sweet reward waiting…an even stronger marriage, even deeper commitment…more appreciation.

To say that this surprise strained our marriage would be an understatement. Thank God we had the skills and the sense to keep ourselves out of free fall and to know when we needed to put newest’s needs on the back burner and tend to ourselves. About 6 months or so after meeting our newest daughter, things got rocky. Scary rocky. Things were on shaky ground. We were angry, and like peytonsmom, we took it out on each other.

But we were resilient and now that we’re becoming accustomed to our new family configuration, everything is getting better, our marriage included. We take time for our relationship now in a way we didn’t have to before: enforced scheduling, creative use of time, and real commitment to being nice to each other even when things kinda suck.

I do have a feeling that after withstanding serious trials like this, there is a sweet reward waiting…an even stronger marriage, even deeper commitment…more appreciation.

We’ve never had to endure through a child’s illness. We have had some serious dark spots. But I am so grateful I can say we survived and are better for the trials.

Thank you for sharing your heart.

Julie

We have been fortunate that it has MADE our marriage. When he can’t do it I am strong and able to do it all. When I can’t handle it he is able to do it. Its strange how it has worked.

We have loved and still love being married. It is a challenge.

Thanks for the article!

Reed and I have discovered each others strengths in difficult situations and we act accordingly.

Reed can handle a lack of sleep better than I can and is willing to put in extra nights on the mattress on the floor of Parker’s safe room than I do.

I do better with research, homeschooling, and biting into butts as needed.

Reed will happily empty ostomy bags, but the dilations he prefers to leave to me.

Reed will even pitch in on the weekends to help clean up our joint, but during the week I’m on my own. But at the same time he comes home each evening and takes over Parker Patrol so that I can make sure we all have clean underwear the next day.

When we go up to PCMC I take the lead with the Doctors. Reed takes the lead with getting us there on time and hauling Parker and the ton of gear that goes where he goes.

Reed makes sure all the tubing etc. gets changed out on time. I make sure it gets ordered.

We take turns venting.

We are a good team. I’m lucky to be married to my best friend. And the still hot buns that came with him. hee,hee