I’ve grown tired of telling Matthew that he’ll meet a nice girl someday. I’ve decided to help him, and started by asking myself three questions:
1) What is the biggest obstacle that prevents Matthew from meeting girls?
2)What is the best way to help him with his socially awkward behavior so that he doesn’t scare girls away?
3)Once he meets a girl who agrees to hand out with him, how do I provide supervision?
Today, I’ll address step one.
The challenge?
Matthew’s program at Camphill California is comprised mostly of men. They few women that he knows there are either neurotypical or older/sister types.
My solution:
I met with another parent from Camphill who has a son a little older than Matthew who grew up in the Santa Cruz area. He has Down Syndrome and is more socially savvy than Matthew (by quite a bit), but he has been involved in Special Olympics, and similar activity social groups all of his life. I signed Matthew up for these programs with the hope that he’ll broaden his base of peers.
My worry:
That Matthew will come on to strong and scare perspective peers away.
That is step two. To be continued next week!!
Laura
To read more about Matthew, GO HERE.
Laura,
I understand what you mean. My son is 20 autistic and he has down’s. He’s very different from his Down’s peers. He’s always been socially uninterested. Just recently, he’s been hanging out, playiing Sports for Exceptional athletes base etc, with a guy in his group with down’s who is very social and very affectionate. For the first time he is picking up some physical cues. He’s hugging a lot more people. He’s seeking people and touching them. He’s still staring at the ground when he talks to people, but it’s a start. Five, ten more years he might be interested in girls. I might be ready for him to be interested in girls in 15 years!!!
Social groups are good. Baseball is cool. Guys hanging out together. It is so heartwarming to watch. Try it.
Good luck to Matthew. It’s heartwarming to hear the love in your “matchmaking” efforts on behalf of your handsome son. I have a friend whose adult son has autism and he’s been dating a girl with Down syndrome for a couple of years now. They’re the most loving couple around! I hope Matthew meets a special girl sometime soon.
My little guys just turned 5 and have Down syndrome. Though they have plenty of time before their first relationship (I hope), they sure are a big hit with all the little girls (and bigger ones too)! LOL
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