“OK, I know he’s got microcephaly, but don’t you think all that hair hides it well?”
“I’m sorry, I’m not convinced you know what you are talking about.”
“The other day he grabbed one of my nipples while he was breastfeeding, I thought it was a good sign he’s going to be able to use his hands, what do you think?!”
“I’m telling you, the drooling is reaching tsunami levels.”
“I’m getting a little tired of taking him to all the therapies, if you really want to know the truth. There. Now I’m Bad Mommy of the Year.”
“I get that he’s not doing what you want him to do at this very second but he’s a kid, not a robot.”
“Is his penis going to work OK?”
“Yeah, he has a bit of an orange tint, it’s all the sweet potatoes. He loves them. Britney Spears looks like that sometimes, too. Ha ha ha!”
“Is his head going to look totally abnormal from the microcephaly? I keep picturing that character with the shrunken head at the end of Beetlejuice.”
Ellen blogs daily at To The Max
Top photo, Antimc
At cleft team after being told that Luke’s tubes were out or not working (for the 6th time), I asked the ENT resident if he had read the chart because he was NOT to tell me that. The look on his face was wonderful.
At a visit to the ped endo, after a fellow (can’t remember his specialty, but it wasn’t ped endo), confessed to me that he was very uncomfortable measuring Luke’s penis, we were chatting and I told him that Luke DID NOT have austim. He was fun watching him try to figure out what to say to me. To top it off when our ped endo (a lady) came in, she had to show him the correct method for measuring a penis. (Luke probably has a pituatary glad issue)
I like it that our 2 children’s hospitals are teaching hospitals. I also like playing with the hired help.
When my daughter had E coli, she also had rectal prolapse– which is looks alot like the explosion on SG1 when they dial up the star-gate– I kept asking, is that really normal,how soon will it stop?
It’s (almost)funny the things you could(should?) say to professionals just to see if they are listening.
I am sure I have said other inane things… but they escape me at the moment
LOLOL on the “I’m not convinced you know what you’re talking about.” LOLOL
Aaaah…all the things you never thought you’d say…hmm. I’m sure I’ve said them, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head.
Good for you for having a sense of humor, bad for me since now I need to windex my computer screen, and my nose is still stinging from the soda comming out of it…
Ellen you crack me up! Thanks for the smile today!
Hahaha oh the things we’ve said! I have mentioned numerous times that “I know her microcephaly is severe, but you can’t even tell because of all her hair!” or “No, we’ve never cut her hair. Then her microcephaly would be really obvious”. How about “Don’t tell me she’ll poop when she needs to poop. It’s been 12 days. You try not sh*tting for 12 days and see how YOU feel!”
Things we never thought we would say. Of course there’s the not so funny ones, like when the orthopedic resident said “Well what are the chances she’ll really walk anyway in her life, so does it matter if she gets arthritis in her knees from repeatedly popping them in and out of socket while stimming” and my response – “You have better walk your ass out of this exam room NOW, or someone will need to carry you out”. LOL Mama bear doesn’t like that kinda talk!!
Too funny. I had to LOL about the sweet potatoes. My cousin’s little boy was orange for several months, because he only liked the orange colored baby foods!
I just loved this. If you cannot laugh, you will cry. Laughter is a much better option. Thanks for sharing them with me.
Ok, seeing that you said many same things to the doctors make me feel much better.
Our little guy as one doctor that finds NO and I mean no humor in my comments…I still find them a little funny!
Right there with the hair hiding the microcephaly and beetlejuice!
I am so glad I was not the only one who has pictured this SAME scene from this movie! I asked Santana’s Neurologist why they always measure his head and when they said with the anoxic injury that it most likely will not grow… this is the first thing I thought of! I am glad I am not the only one with this humor!!!!! Keep the laughs!