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How Dare He?
The following is a reprint from my personal blog from almost two years ago, and I am still struggling to find appropriate dental and orthodontic care for my daughter with special needs. Have any of you run into something similar – medical professionals who feel your child with special needs has less of a need for orthodontic care?
Ashley had a dentist appointment this morning. The dentist is one she has seen for several years, and one who touts himself as a dentist for children with special needs. Until today, Dr. Karl had done an adequate job of caring for Ashley’s teeth even though his manner was a little brusque and rushed. But today things did not go so well. In fact, they went horribly wrong.
Ashley did not want to get into the chair to have her teeth cleaned by the assistant. But with some major ‘encouragement’ from both Amy and me, she eventually did agree and then put her head back and cooperated through the cleaning. When Dr. Karl came in, she became a bit more anxious. She didn’t want to cooperate with him, and for whatever reason, he seemed quite impatient. He spent all of thirty seconds looking at her teeth and declared she had no cavities. He then turned things back over to the assistant.
Before he left the room, I asked him about braces. I wanted a referral to an orthodontist that would take Ashley’s Medicaid insurance. He scoffed and said braces probably wouldn’t work. I agree that braces will be a challenge, but with the technical developments in recent years, I wanted to at least ask an orthodontist some questions.
Dr. Karl, however, said with a very definitive opinion that he didn’t think braces would be possible. I asked why. He said, “Well, you know, the tumors she has” referring to her three brain tumors. Then he said, “Does it really matter?” which I took to mean does it really matter if Ashley’s teeth were crooked. I stared in shocked silence as he walked out of the room.
How dare he assume that it not matter to Ashley if her teeth are pretty. How dare he assume that I should care less about the health and appearance of her teeth just because she has disabilities? I have absolutely no doubt that he wouldn’t even consider asking a 13 year old girl without disabilities if it really mattered.
I got angrier and angrier as I drove to work. I will be changing dentists for Ashley. I will be writing a letter to Dr. Karl and his partners to let them know exactly why I am leaving their practice. I sure the small amount of money he gets from Ashley will not make a difference, but I refuse to subsidize his discriminatory and insensitive attitude for one more minute.
And I will share this story with as many people as I possibly can.
Deborah can be found writing here at 5MFSN every Wednesday, and can also be found at Pipecleaner Dreams.
Filed under Blog, Dealing With Public Perceptions, Deborah by
Comments on How Dare He? »
Stimey @ 6:09 pm
Oh, that is horrible. I am so sorry that doctor was terrible to you and your daughter. What an appalling thing to say.
Lisa Pasquariello @ 7:26 pm
That is terrible…but unfortunately something I've heard many times before.
Soooo, did she ever get braces..see another dentist…?
Janet @ 9:46 pm
Do you have any leads on a good one?
I know a doctor who would prescribe hormones for a very disabled young woman because it didn't really matter. Mom found a good GYN and the meds made a major difference in her quality of life.
I am so thankful to have found a great dentist. He does as good as you would expect with Luke (7 – ASD, non-verbal, cleft lip and palate). He understands (or seems to) the balance between taking care of Luke's teeth, doing the ortho that will be needed before a bone graft, and having the perfect, dazzling smile.
Lisa @ 10:26 pm
Ashley is only 1 patient out of MANY that her dentist has. If he feels her teeth do not matter, then you need to find someone who does feel Asley's teeth matter, and that Ashley's feelings matter. She DESERVES a beautiful smile just like everyone else does. I bet her "New smile" would be just electric even more then it is now. Shame on the dentist for not seeing that. Maybe he was having a bad day, but he should have had more compassion reguardless.
Stacey Harris @ 10:44 pm
All I can say is Shame,shame on that dentist…
There is NO REASON WHY this child can't have a smile with straight shiney teeth.
Good luck on your search for a real dentist!
terena @ 10:49 pm
that doctor needs a good hard kick to the ass. What a jerk!
SoCoMom4James @ 11:12 pm
Oh that is *SO* wrong — on so many levels.
It's as good as telling you that your daughter and you don't matter. Which makes me think he's a jerk and won't care about doing a good job on her teeth anyway.
At the very least he could have said he didn't think he could do anything more for her instead of insulting you.
Our kids are precious to us. If he has a problem with that, then it's HIS problem.
I hope you also sent a letter to the better business bureau and your regional center (or equivalent).
Carrie Jenkins @ 8:58 am
Oh, yikes…
That would have brought out my mama bear claws!
Vanessa Infanzon @ 1:29 pm
I'd like to hear how he reacted when he received your letter – any apologies…anything?
Jeanne Dimon @ 3:46 pm
This is horrible, totally uncalled for. I have a suggestion for letting everyone know how horrible he was.
on yelp, you can write a review there on the doctor.
http://www.yelp.com. you do need an account, but its free.
just an idea.
KK @ 11:06 am
Consider writing a letter to the American Medical Association concerning his blatant disregard to Ethics. I assume the AMA covers the profession of Dentistry. If not, I'm sure there is a similar board but the Code of Ethics should be exactly the same.
http://www.cirp.org/library/statements/ama/
I'd say he is in direct violation of Principle I.
Joanne @ 1:55 pm
How dare he indeed! I can hardly believe he actually said this. How insulting. I don't even know what to say except how sorry I am for one man's very callous attitude to your beautiful daughter. Shame on him.
Ellen S. @ 8:44 pm
I am outraged! What happened after you mailed them—did they respond? I agree with KK, this seems like a violation of ethics.
Marianne @ 1:32 am
So sad….I too have a daughter with special needs….when she was only 10 months of age, she had severe feeding problems….the pediatrician at the time, Dr. William Phelan, Allentown, PA….ignored my concerns. One day, in the office with my daughter and her 2 siblings, I started to cry about my daughter and my concerns for her….and his comment to me was, "I told you you should have gotten rid of her months ago"….what more can I say.