Yeah, he’s cute. But he sure can try my patience.
Before I had Max, I wasn’t known for my patience, let me just say. I am the sort of person who wants things done fast, and wants them done well. Wants that do not exactly go well with having a kid with special needs.
I have somehow found inside me vast quantities of patience I could have never imagined I’d have. Patience for helping Max do tasks, patience for developmental delays, patience for dealing with doctors and their staffs (lots and LOTS of patience for the staffs).
Still, naturally, there are moments when I lose it. Especially when Max screeches or screams. He does this when he is frustrated, and it is very, very loud, a sound that goes right to my nerves. I know that it’s not just the loudness that gets to me. It’s a complicated feeling tied up in my own emotions about keeping Max happy and trying to understand what he wants.
On occasion, I will snap, “Max, STOP screaming!” And then feel awful about it.
I’m working on finding ways to calm Max down quickly. Talking to him quietly doesn’t really do it but sometimes, scooping him up and running from room to room snaps him out of his mood and makes him laugh. Or distracting him by talking about his current obsession, purple.
What sort of moments with your kids really make you want to rip your hair out?!
Ellen blogs daily at To The Max
Same here…the screaming. I think it has more to do with I don’t know what he’s trying to tell me. I know he’s not doing it to be a brat or get on my nerves, but some days I just don’t know what he’s saying. That’s very very frustrating…as I know it is for him too.
The screaming gets to me… and the constant complaints about things we can’t change like
“I am going to just have the worst day ever if it doesn’t snow…” I have learned to make my face really dramatic and kinda goofy– that seems to help Shane re-boot — or maybe it just helps me?
When he does the same thing wrong, over and over, despite having just been told not to and given a consequence. Especially when what he does is either dangerous (going outside without permission) or creates work for me (not bothering to aim in the bathroom or opening and then dropping an entire jar of spaghetti sauce).
I once actually told him, “You are making my life so much harder.”
Yeah…
For me, it’s the same thing…the loud crazy noises that Henry makes for NO reason whatsoever. Just to be loud, I guess. And since he doesn’t hear well, it doesn’t sound terribly loud to him. And even if it WAS loud to him, his hearing aids would suppress it so as not to damage his hearing further. So he will NEVER understand how d*mned loud it is too the rest of us. Sorry to curse.
And it makes my shoulders go up the nanosecond he starts it.
Maybe I could shoot marshmallows at him when he does it…that would surely cheer him up, no?
When the kids keep insisting they play together but are fighting constantly. Then you break then up and they cry.
What gets me is when my son decides that he needs to sit on my lap whether I want him to or not. I end up giving in b/c he won’t let it go. Personal space every once in a while is all I ask for.
You did a great job of explaining that our frustration with hearing the screaming/yelling/noising is combined with us wanting our child to be happy and content. I am not sure if I have ever been able to clearly see that those are tied together, but after reading what you wrote, it hit me that is what I am feeling. Thanks for a great post.
When she insists on doing something SO babyish, despite my explanations that 15 year-olds just DON’T do things like that!
It is SO heartening to hear I am not alone!!!