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Thing # 1,387,902 I have to do for my son
Ok, not really—it only feels that way.
I went to visit Max's school on Friday to discuss his Dynavox with his speech therapist. My husband and I find it really hard to navigate, and Max isn't so hot to use it on weekends, either. (At school, he does fine navigating the "classroom" category.)
We're going to totally rejigger the system. First, I have to come up with a new framework—new categories, like eating, playing, places to go—then words to go within those categories.
It's something I really need to do. On top of all those other things I need to do or could be doing for Max. The ones that are always in the back of my head, goading me: "YOU NEED TO DO THIS FOR HIM! YOU NEED TO DO THIS FOR HIM! NOW! NOW! NOW!"
Sometimes, all the things the teachers and therapists ask me to do weigh heavily on my shoulders. Not because they're a burden, but because I feel guilty when I don't get to them all, or I just don't get to them, period. I don't feel this way about stuff on my list for my typically-developing child. But with Max, I feel it's up to me to get them done. Because I want him to thrive, and he needs my help. He really, really needs my help.
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Comments on Thing # 1,387,902 I have to do for my son »
Amanda Daybyday @ 12:24 pm
I've got something on my list for my daughter like that too. Everytime we have a melt down at meals, I remember that I should be doing that…
gail @ challenges & adventures @ 1:41 pm
amen, sista! i have been putting off so many things that i need to do for my son. finally getting his pecs book completely done. sigh …
Janis @ Sneak Peek @ 2:03 pm
I totally know what you mean. I hate having "homework".
http://www.sneakpeekatme.com/2009/10/homework.html
Sara Evans @ 7:41 pm
Oh, I hate the mommy guilt. I am constantly thinking how I should be doing this or that. Or just one more thing. It's hard when they are so dependant on us, but the rest of the world is too.
Territory Mom @ 9:08 pm
Hang in there. It will get done.
Lisa in Elijahland @ 10:17 pm
I totally know what you mean, too. Seeing multiple therapists every week is definitely a blessing, but it often leaves me feeling guilty because I just cannot get to it all (try as I might). Sometimes, we just need to 'be' and I try not to feel guilty about that. TRY is the key word.
Barbara @ 8:25 am
Therapists are usually well-intentioned but it takes a long time to skillfully recommend to a parent. I still struggle and I am old. TM is right, persistance will win over guilt.
Take A Walk On The Happy Side @ 1:58 pm
I am right there with you… only I do feel guilty over the things I don't get to for my typically developing child b/c my 2 children with special needs take up so much more of my time (in my head but not in reality). So I feel the deep need to do more for my daughter AND more for my sons… the photo album for school to spur language, the site words placed around the house, working on the alphabet, colors, shapes, reading more with them, counting and the list goes on and on. I'm pushed by the notion of the maleability of the 0-5 year-old brain and feel like I'm under deadline. All my doing… there are no alarms going off but the ones in my head.
We should just relax and maybe just enjoy a moment with our beautiful children!
Bron @ 8:10 pm
Oh ellen, I know exactly what you mean! and thanks for reminding me to get on with Coopers communication device journey! Oh the guilt will it ever subside? lol