Back in June, I wrote about getting other kids to play with your child, an issue that a lot of parents of kids with special needs grapple with.
It is still plaguing me, and it’s stressful. Max is a superfriendly, curious kid. But he scares other kids.
Yesterday, two neighborhood kids came over to the house, I was baking chocolate chip cookies. At some point, the two kids and Sabrina (Max’s four-year-old sis) were banging on our piano, and Max went over and started shouting (his version of singing) and banging on the piano, too, only because his coordination isn’t so good he was accidentally hitting the other kids’ hands.
The little girl looked alarmed. The little boy looked annoyed.
“That’s just his way of playing the piano and singing,” I said, except it didn’t help much. I finally had to distract Max by getting him to help me mix some cookie batter.
Later, the four of them were in Sabrina’s room, and I walked in; Max was shouting, again, and Sabrina had her arms wrapped protectively around the little girl. Which I felt sad to see.
I am so, so frustrated by this one.
Ellen blogs daily at To The Max.
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I think I would have been a little frustrated too. It’s really hard to explain the special needs to other children who don’t understand. I can understand how you feel on the playmates topic. When I was in another town Dakota had bonded with a boy and they were inseperable. We moved here and he doesn’t have that. In fact he doesn’t really have any friends except for one. Lately he doesn’t even want to play with her. He got upset with her yesterday because she touched him and he doesn’t like to be touched. Although I must say I was proud of him for apologizing that he yelled at her and calmly explained that he didn’t like to be touched. I asked the teachers at school what he does during recess. The response was look for bugs. So he isn’t really interacting. Makes me sad.
This is always a dilemma. My daughter is on the autism spectrum and yet loves to be around other kids. She truly enjoys interacting, but doesn’t get all of the unspoken social rules and so is awkward in her attempts to play; then if she gets upset by things she is sometimes loud and/or aggressive (thankfully this is diminishing). We have been blessed by many family friends who are willing to walk through this with us and their kids are my daughter’s playmates. Some are typical, but younger, so their social skills are more matched. Others are typical, but older with great social skills including patience and tolerance to cope with her foibles. Many have special needs of their own, but their weaknesses mesh with her strengths and vice versa. When we first received our daughter’s diagnosis I wrote a social story to her friends in preschool to explain at their level what was going on with her. I think it helped the parents to be more understanding and willing to help out in this way.
My heart is breaking with you on this one! It must be agonizing for you.
Wanting to protect our children from hurt… wanting our children to be loved and accepted… wanting our children to have fun and laugh with friends…
It all shouldn’t be so hard. But too often it is.