When Matthew was home last weekend, we had three very normal conversations! They were:
1) Me: “Did your friend Joe move away?” Matthew: “That’s what I heard.”
2) Me: “Have you seen any good movies lately” Matthew: “No, but I’d like to. What movies have you seen?”
3) Me: (driving Matthew to a gardening job, pulling out of the driveway and reaching for my sunglasses) Matthew: “Wait! I forgot my safety glasses. Seeing your glasses reminded me.”
Just four months ago, the conversations would have gone like this.
1) Me: “Did your friend Joe move away?” Matthew: “I give up.”
2) Me: “Have you seen any good movies lately?” Matthew. “No. I’m tired of all these questions.”
3) I would have dropped Matthew off without his glasses, and then he would have called me, demanding that I find the glasses and bring them to him right now!
Matthew at 23
Not only is Matthew interacting in a more expansive way, but he is calm, content, and easy to reason with. To what do I attribute this leap in development? I attribute it to Camphill, the caring community where Matthew lives, to the day program that I wasn’t so sure about at first, to his psychologist, Dr. Fair, who is working on, among other things, Matthew’s social skills, and to his psychiatrist, Glenn Saltz, who figured out the very best medication formula.
So we are going through a good stage. It is so good, in fact, that I can hardly remember how we were suffering last year at this time.(rages, transitioning Matthew to a new program, police visits….) And who was that who found and put all of those supports in place between then and now? Oh, yeah, that was me!
There will be some more bumps ahead-and I’ll be ready. But right now I feel hopeful, rejuvenated, and so, so lucky.
Laura
Laura Shumaker is the author of A REGULAR GUY: GROWING UP WITH AUTISM
and a contributor to A CUP OF COMFORT FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.
Wow, that is really great how he is progressing!
It is simply lovely and priceless to read good news like this, I raise my coffee cup to you! , May there be more posts like this all year long!
By never giving up hope it doesn’t take long for a few positives to outweigh so many negatives.
I think I can see the differences in his face (photo), too! WOW! Laura, you the Mom! The difference in the the two conversations was amazing. Thanks so, so much for sharing your good news.
AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME! And Barbara’s right, his photo looks wonderful – great smile and fantastic eye contact.
Laura, I have been a Small Group Elementary Special Ed. teacher for 16 years and have taught many Autistic/Aspergers children. I have read many books on Autism, but never one through a parent’s perspective. What a great book! Thank you for sharing your story and Matthew with everyone!
What an awesome story and such a great reminder of how important the right resources can be.
I’m sooooo happy for you all!
Since I have read your book and feel so close to you and your family, I love reading these updates!!! It’s like getting a note from a family member that warms your heart! Thanks Laura!
Throwing confetti ……Awesome. Just awesome. xoxo
Laura: I just received your book today and I can not wait to start reading it (I’ll find time during the weekend!). I also feel close to your family and it feels great to hear that he is doing good. Is it not amazing how we can put things in the past and forget the struggles of the yesterday? but yet feel so ready for the ones to come? A great team makes all the difference in the world, I see me in you and I see you as a successful mother to a regular guy in its own way and that’s about all I ask for every day. I pray for strenght to make it to the end of each day just so that I can be ready for the next. If it is a good day, I feel blessed, and also when is not so good for my little 6 yr old monster as I call him. I pray for you and your family as well, especially for Matthew and for more two way conversations!
I haven’t had a chance to read your book but I can relate to the