August 20, 2008
RTFM
Again this morning, I had to explain to the aide on my daughter’s school bus that my daughter is deaf and blind. The explanation came after that aide said in a very helpful voice of normal speaking volume “Hi Ashley, do you need help?” The aide seemed a little annoyed when Ashley did not answer her.
It’s not wholly the aide’s fault that she didn’t know about my daughter, but it sure bothers me that I have to share the same information over and over again with teachers, bus drivers, school aides, and medical facility personnel.
Ashley has been a student in the same school district for 10 years now. She has also seen the same doctors and been to the same hospitals for 10 years also. Isn’t the fact that she is deaf and blind written in her records? What is the point of maintaining all the records that school and medical offices maintain if no one ever refers to their contents?
And, in Ashley’s case, it’s pretty obvious that she is visually impaired – her white cane is a tip off. I understand that it would be more difficult to figure out that Ashley is deaf, but when either I or her intervener is with her and we are using sign language, that is a clue.
I have no problem explaining Ashley’s disabilities to someone meeting her for the first time. I also don’t mind talking about the source of her disabilities or what adaptations and modifications need to be made for her to participate fully in society. But, I don’t think I should have to explain to people in our school district or medical facilities which we have frequented for many years.
Maybe I could use the same response that is often used in the computer industry (my area of employment) when certain people ask the same questions over and over again – RTFM (Read The F*&%$#g Manual).
Deborah can be found writing here at 5MFSN every Sunday and Wednesday, and can also be found at Pipecleaner Dreams.
Filed under Blog, Day In And Day Out, Dealing With Public Perceptions, Deborah by Deborah
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17 Comments on RTFM »
#1 - Krystal @ 5:17 pm
I won't know the joys of bussing until next week as we were late in getting the change on the IEP for the bus. I am so freaking out about this! i remember going on a bus when I was a kid and I hated it! I can only imagine what this would do to my kids.
Heck, they are excited about it but I am a paranoid freak!!!
#2 - Amazing_Grace @ 8:20 pm
I have in my son's IEP that a training session is to be conducted before school starts including all teachers, aides, counselors, administrators, bus drivers, etc., who will have contact with him.
I give each person a file that I have done and I go over it during the meeting. In the file is:
Info of my child with color picture. In the report it includes:
(a) description of disability
(b) educational impact of the disability
(c) accommodations and modifications present to assist my son
(d) behavioral interventions used
(e) assistive technology
(f) related services that are provided
(g) list of last year teachers and what they taught
(h) important tips from past teachers
(i) parent contact info (phone number, e-mail address, etc.)
(j) report card from last year
#3 - Lori @ 11:24 pm
I hear you loud and clear Deborah! I don't know if it will ever get easier, I just wish more people would tune in.
#4 - Debbie Yost @ 11:26 pm
Love it!
#5 - Bonnie Sayers (autismfamily) @ 1:01 am
Very informative post. My son will be taking the bus for the first time next month when school starts here in Los Angeles. He is going into MiddleSchool and is nonverbal and not toilet trained. He has a male aide that started in March so he is well aware and we are going for tour and orientation next week, he is coming with us.
Good luck with getting these profesionals on the ball. Maybe a taped message would work well where it can be played every AM.
#6 - Brandi @ 10:28 am
We don't do the bus yet, but our son has had so many surgeries. With the surgeries comes 3 trillion questions. It wouldn't be so bad, but then we have to repeat the same 3 trillion questions 3 times. My husband and I have joked about getting him a t-shirt made for surgeries that says, "My name is ___. DOB is ___. I have no allergies. I'm not allergic to latex. My medications are ___, ___, ____, ____, ____, ___, ___, ___, ___. Of course it would have to be a front and back t-shirt.
#7 - Deborah @ 11:36 am
Krystal, Ashley LOVES the bus. On the weekends, we even have to ride to where they are parked to make sure they are ok
Amazing Grace, what a wonderful idea. I'll have to try that with my school district, and I'm sure they will welcome the idea with open arms (yea, right).
Brandi, I LOVE that idea. Let's collaborate and open an ETSY shop that sells teeshirts like that
#8 - Amazing_Grace @ 2:30 pm
Deborah-
I usually conduct the whole meeting so it WILL be done. Otherwise, even if the training session is specified in the IEP it sometimes is over looked. I call the school and find out when is a good time to have the training session, invite all who will be in contact with my son, and bring goodies to the meeting.
By the way, the teachers love my Rum Cake. LOL!
#9 - Karen Putz / DeafMom @ 3:27 pm
Like Amazing Grace, I have it written into the IEP that a training session has to be given during the first few days of school to all of the staff.
What I'm trying to work on now is to get the school to be responsible for more of the social aspect of the school day as well as improve their communication between home and school (I often don't find out who their interpreter is or itinerant teacher until my kids come home and tell me!).
#10 - Deborah @ 5:26 pm
Karen, if you get the school to be responsible for some of the social stuff, please share with me how you made that happen. My SD looks at me like I am crazy when I bring that up.
BTW, I told Rachel Coleman you said hello at our conference last week. We had a great fundraiser, and then she did our conference keynote. She did an incredible job!!
We also had a Make A Wish kid at the fundraiser. His wish was to meet Rachel. He had a trach but his mom had recorded "Hi, my name is _______, and I love you, Rachel." Not a dry eye in the room, I tell you
#11 - Melody @ 6:21 pm
Yes! May I quote you to a few people?
#12 - Shannon @ Gabi's World @ 7:00 pm
I am sure that has got to get annoying.
#13 - Karen Putz / DeafMom @ 7:07 pm
Deborah,
Last year, I made the request for the school to do something about social needs. What they did was set up a group at the middle school. They sent the kids to Advocacy day where they learned about advocacy skills with 200 other deaf/hh kids around the area.
I'm going to be pushing harder this year. Use the section in IDEA that says the school "shall consider the social and emotional."
#14 - Karen Putz / DeafMom @ 7:08 pm
Also, that's so cool about Rachel Coleman. She rocks!
#15 - Amazing_Grace @ 7:38 pm
When problems arise in getting certain services for your child always back up your concerns with data (teacher and parent observations, report cards, tests, books and papers, doctor suggestions, teacher and parent notes to each other, child’s classroom and homework papers, etc.). It has always worked for me, maybe for you as well.
#16 - Kristenkj @ 2:59 pm
Ha ha! That made me laugh! I don't understand how people can't get it straight…I really don't.
#17 - Trish @ 10:06 pm
At kindergarten orientation, I asked the teacher (who was not in the IEP meeting last spring) about my bringing snacks for her to keep in the classroom to have on hand at birthdays, etc. She had no clue what I was talking about, even though it his dietary restrictions are plastered all over his IEP - which she clearly hasn't read!