August 6, 2008
Licensed To Asphyxiate
That's Stinkbomb. Parker Stinkbomb. Licensed to asphyxiate.
It took a whole day for the doctors to discover the gamut of Parker's issues after he was born. Just when we thought we had them all figured out, God decided to save the best for last. He sent this bit of information via Parker's Pediatrician.
It went something like this:
Pedi: "Mrs. Hodson we have had to suction all of the feeds out of Parker's stomach."
Me: "Uh. Yeah. Okay."
Pedi: "Mrs. Hodson, we have discovered that your son was born with an impreforate anus."
Me: "Uh. Okay."
Pedi: "Mrs. Hodson, do you know what an imperforate anus is?"
Me: "Uh……….."
Yeah. No one has ever accused me of being the brightest bulb in the box.
Parker was life flighted up to Primary Children's Hospital where he underwent an emergency surgery to give him what the surgeon technically referred to as "A Pooper."
For those of you who don't speak Doctor-ese, that would be a colostomy.
And along with that colostomy came an ostomy bag.
Cause at our house, we get all the fun stuff.
I have had many, many people email and ask questions about Parker's IA and his ostomy bag. I figure this is as good as place as any to answer them.
These are all actual questions I have been asked. More than once.
Since Parker wears an ostomy bag, does he also really need to wear a diaper?
Well, Virginia, that depends. If you don't mind being peed on several times a day, then no, a diaper is not necessary. But if you prefer a drier approach to your day, a diaper is advised.
Are ostomy bags expensive?
Considering the fact that an ostomy bag is pretty much a glorified self sticking baggie with a twist tie, the answer would be that they are freakishly expensive.
Can't you make a single ostomy bag last for at least a week?
(This question submitted by my insurance company who is noted for their compassion and willingness to meet all of Parker's medical needs. Uh. Not.)
Dear insurance company, if you can come by and show me exactly how to make one ostomy bag stick to the side of a teeny little guy for one full week, I will gladly follow your example.
But until YOU figure out how to do it, don't expect me to.
Are ostomy bags smelly when you clean them out?
Since the plastic holds in the smell, 'burping' the bag is enough to knock a person out cold if not given proper warning of the up coming event.
Imagine putting a dirty diaper out in the garbage on a 98.7 degree day with the lid closed. Then come back an hour or two later and take a big whiff.
I double dog with a cherry on top triple dare ya.
It seems as though each time Parker is in the hospital his ostomy cares correspond with his doctors' rounds. Even though I repeatedly invite these doctors into the room during the ostomy cares, they always decline and choose instead to round outside of Parker's room .
Wimps.
When Parker's tush becomes fully functional, we anticipate the Smell 'O Meter around here to get a much needed break.
Can Parker remove his ostomy bag himself?
Actually Parker has graduated from yanking his bag completely off to simply unwinding the twist tie and letting it all flow out…… if you get my drift.
His OT is so proud.
Will Parker always have to wear an ostomy bag?
Nope! Parker is scheduled to undergo the second phase of his PSARP in October. He underwent the first phase where his amazing surgeon created for him a BRAND NEW TEENY TINY DESIGNER HEINY.
We are now in the process of dilations using these:
We are on 11's right now. We move up a size every two weeks. Once we finish they will then stick Parker's bowel back in where it is supposed to be and hook everything up.
October can't come soon enough for either of us. One less object hanging off this kid would be a very, very good thing.
What is Parker's prognosis after the final surgery?
Parker's prognosis is excellent for being totally potty learned one day.
The concern for this procedure is the need to go under anesthesia. Surgery for kids with very significant levels of Pulmonary Hypertension is always very, very scary.
Will you be in need of lots and lots of prayers for this surgery?
Absolutely.
(Okay. Maybe I did add this last question myself. Shoot me.)
Tammy and Parker can also be found hanging out at their other blog: Praying For Parker
Filed under Blog, Day In And Day Out, Dealing With Public Perceptions, Tammy by Tammy and Parker
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15 Comments on Licensed To Asphyxiate »
#1 - Karen (Pediascribe) @ 12:21 pm
Ah, yes. I remember "burping" ostomy bags in the SICU. Not a pleasant thing at all.
Get it to stick for a week!!! HA HA HA HA. Sometimes it was hard enough for me to get it to stick for a 12 hour shift!!
Very educational post!
#2 - Heidi @ 12:41 pm
Congrats on adding humor to this post!
I especially like the answer to:
Are ostomy bags expensive?
&
Can't you make a single ostomy bag last for at least a week?
Gotta love insurance companies!!!
Before my little guy was born, we thought he may have had VACTERLS, which imperforate anus is part of that sometimes. All I knew about though was that it required surgery. I guess I didn't realize it could require several surgeries.
Another baby we were with at the NICU had to get an ostomy bag for another digestive reason. ANyhow, the nurses made out like it was easy. I think that it is a relative "easy."
Thanks for sharing. I appreciate the post very much.
#3 - Sherry Caldwell @ 1:10 pm
Tammy you and Parker are amazing. I have been enjoying your blog. Good for you for finding the humour in all this. It really helps doesn't it.
My little one also has Pulmonary Hypertension as well but it is improving for her with time. I remember how nervous all the anesthesiologists were prior to one of my daughters operation at 4 months the actually postponed the operation becuase of her PH. Now when we go in then don't put her to sleep for tests and proceduces because of this.
#4 - Kelly @ 1:13 pm
Your sense of humor is so refreshing! I love this post! Keeping you in our prayers for smooth sailing in October!
#5 - Kristin @ 1:47 pm
Oh yes, I remember ostomy days! My son was also born with IA and those bag changes as they get older are extremely…well…stinky! Like the others, I love your humor in all this. You had me cracking up. We love to read Parkers's blog also.
#6 - Stacey @ 1:50 pm
It is refreshing to read your use of humor about this issue–
When my daughter had E coli,HUS
— she also had rectal-prolaps –
(The Dr's were reluctant to explain– so one morning they showed me — YUCK !)
- I still remember just exactly what that looked like
I hope that wasn't TMI… but it felt good to connect about this ~
{my post today, is about how we ended up with E coli, Bring your tissues~!}
http://www.frogparenting.blogspot.com
#7 - Awesome Mom @ 2:42 pm
You are awesome woman!!! Just the thought of burping an ostomy bag gives me the shivers and I have never had to do it. I know I would do it if I had to but I am soo glad that I do not.
#8 - This Little Piggy @ 3:31 pm
I had no idea there was such a thing as IA. I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed myself. ;o)
Our insurance company didn't want to cover open heart surgery for Sweetums when she was 16 months old. The reason? They felt she wouldn't grow up to be a productive member of society. Grr.
#9 - Debbie Yost @ 3:37 pm
First, did you know some people don't have the brain chemical to understand sarcasm, so no matter how ridiculous a comment may sound you have to follow up with, "I'm kidding!" I am so glad you are not one of those people! I love your answers and whit (sp?).
Second, having ran a day care and put many a smelly diaper in the trashcan in the garage I know exactly the smell you are talking about! Yikes! I agree, October can't come soon enough. I am so glad they will be able to fix this and will be praying for a safe and successful surgery!
#10 - Micki @ 4:22 pm
Well I'm gonna start sending prayers right now
Don't insurance companies just make you question the intelligence of humans sometimes? I'm so tempted to say, "Um, you did think about what you just said, didn't you? Do you honestly know what you're asking?" My first instinct would be to tell them that they can't flush or use toilet paper for a week . . .
#11 - Trish @ 4:39 pm
Gotta love those insurance companies! I sincerely hope and pray that the surgery is successful and that he will recover quickly.
#12 - Melody @ 4:47 pm
Always Praying for Parker. ox
Humor is necessary to get through it, isn't it? But those insurance companies make it so hard to laugh. hrmphf
BTW, when that cute little face popped up on my screen…made by day.
#13 - Katie @ 5:21 pm
Tammy, I don't know what was going on with the site. I clicked the link in your post, I Googled the site, and I clicked the side button. Crazy.
Glad Parker's pooper is getting better! October is not so very far away.
#14 - mum2brady @ 5:36 pm
Awww - look at your cute little stinkbomb - he's such a doll
Hard to believe that something that amazingly adorable could be that stinky - you're just joshin' us 
P.s. when you're potty learning - I'm going to send Brady over - cause he really needs to learn
#15 - Kristen@nosmallthing @ 8:32 am
I'll sure be praying for you!!!