This is the message I found on my answering machine Monday morning.
“Hi mom, it’s Andy. Just wanted you to know I have the swine flu, but don’t worry.”
This was the same day that I learned that a student at Cornell had died from the H1N1 virus.
I called Andy, who is a senior at a college in Connecticut, 3000 miles away from my home in Northern California, to get more details. He’d been sick since Friday. He had a high fever and was quarantined in his room. The doctor said he should start feeling better soon, and “please don’t fly back to see me.”
ANDY, left with MATTHEW
I got as much information as I could about the H1N1 virus and learned that most of the cases were milder than the seasonal flu, but that the virus was extremely contagious.
But it was clear after a few days of phone calls that Andy’s case was for severe than most.
Today, another call.
“Hi Mom. I’m at the health center. They are going to admit me because I have pneumonia. They’re giving me IV antibiotics and fluids.”
This flurry of phone calls and nail biting made me think about the gut wrenching realities of parents of medically fragile children (which includes just about every writer on the 5mfsn team.)
As the mother of a child with autism, I’ve had my share or worries, stress and heartache, but when I put my head on my pillow each night, I don’t have to worry that my child can breath or fight off infection, and I don’t have to wonder what the outcome of the next surgery will be. I don’t have to see my child in pain, and I don’t have to answer insensitive questions about prognosis and lifespan.
**
Andy just phoned from the health center where he’ll be spending the night. He has only been there for 5 hours and already he feels so much better.
“This is my first time in the hospital,” he said , and I realize how incredibly lucky he is-how lucky I am.
And I’m thinking about you-the parents of medically challenged children. God love and bless you.
xoxo
Laura
Laura Shumaker is the author of A REGULAR GUY: GROWING UP WITH AUTISM
and a contributor to A CUP OF COMFORT FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.
She writes each Friday for 5 MINUTES FOR SPECIAL NEEDS.
My 14 year old daughter is medically fragile. Since the day I adopted her 12 years ago, I have not slept through the night. Even on the very rare occasions that she sleeps all night, I am still up every couple of hours just to make sure she is still breathing. And the first thing I do each morning is stand beside her bed so I can hear her breaths…
Well written. so true.
Thinking of all you moms out there.
And we parents of children with stronger immune systems have to remember to keep our kids home if they are sick…even a cough and runny nose.
I think the reason that the special needs that came with Parker have never been an issue is because the medically fragile part is so very overwhelming.
Parker has had more hospital stays, more surgeries, than I can even remember off the top of my head.
One of the most frightening, a right heart cath, will take place this Friday.
I don’t give a damn about the extra chromosome, I just want to keep my child alive.
And the lifespan questions. How can one parent even think to ask another how long they think their child may live….or when they will die?
Yet, they do. All. the. time.
What a thoughtful post, Laura. Add my thoughts and God bless you all to hers.
I agree Tammy…why do people ask that? It takes me aback every time I hear it.
Thank you for this post Laura. I think parents of children with special needs, whether they have lowered immunity or not, understand how important it is for our more fragile kids to keep away from the germs. We had to take Max to a dental, and regular check-up this week. When we got there, the dental office let us wait in a conference room instead of the crawling waiting room, and our pediatrician’s office nurse wiped down the entire surface of the room before placing us. It helps to be around people who “get it”, whether that is in person, or online!
Very timely for me to read right now, since I am recovering from the H1N1 virus. (I have asthma and it’s been slow going.) Thinking of all the moms out there who parent medically fragile children, including my own mom.
I hope your son feels better soon Laura, and thanks for the post!! I came down with a flu-like virus this week and called my doctor in a panic… not because of ME, but “what about my daughter?!” I could practically see the nurse rolling her eyes over the phone line. She didn’t KNOW my daughter of course. When the doctor heard that it was me calling he got me right in because if I DID have the swine flu, we would have to protect HER. It’s very scary. Thankfully for her it was just a really bad virus. Bleh. (And I STILL pray she doesn’t get it!) Thanks again for your post!