I was having a good day.
I had dropped Matthew back at Camphill California in the morning after a terrific 3 day visit at home. I was so pleased that the weekend went well and for the first time ever, he was actually excited to get back to his program.
“It has been a while since I have seen Matthew since his medication change. I would like to see him and then also have a follow up appointment with you. I’m not at all comfortable prescribing medication without follow-up,” he concluded sternly.
I felt my face flush and I almost started crying.
What was wrong with me?
I promise, it wasn’t, as my husband would say, “Menopause.”
But whay had this little message-this necessary message-gotten to me this way?
“I know why,” a wise friend who had a daughter with Asperger syndrome told me when I called and confided in her about the unwelcome mood swing I was having.
“I call those ‘drive-by-phone calls’,” she said. “You are having one of those rare great days. Matthew is doing well and you feel like your life is almost normal and then BAM! You’re reminded Matthew condition is life long.”
Life long.
I hung up the phone, feeling really sorry for myself , and then heard the sound of Andy and John laughing uproariously after having dressed our yellow Labrador in a t-shirt and gym shorts-my mood swinging back with a vengeance.
Cali and John
It occurred to me that ALL parents get those drive by phone calls, and that there was no such thing as normal.
And as I took this silly photo of my dog in a t-shirt and gym shorts, I felt really, really lucky.
Laura
Laura Shumaker is the author of A REGULAR GUY: GROWING UP WITH AUTISM
and a contributor to A CUP OF COMFORT FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.
She writes each Friday for 5 MINUTES FOR SPECIAL NEEDS.
I have to agree with your friend! I know those feelings all to well. There are days that Dakota and Brad can get along great and I think hey things are going great and wammo things are back to the attitudes and outbursts. I have my days too where I feel like crying! I am so glad to hear you had a great weekend. I laughed at them dressing up the dog. Too funny!
I love that phrase – “drive-by-phone calls”. Not that at age 51 I could be experiencing menopause
Like when I wake up wet and wonder the cause, Luke wetting the bed, or me extra hot! Usually me, but sometimes both.
I received a drive by e-mail the other day. One of my daughter’s teachers asked me to trim her fingernails and it set me off. Unpacking it later with a friend I realized that part of why it frustrated me is because I have spent so much time lately working furiously to help my daughter start her schooling well – developing a solid transition plan and practically writing her IEP myself when the school staff balked. Sure I’ll trim her nails and be the mom, if they’ll pick up their end of the deal and be the educators…