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Try This Tuesday #56: Time to Regroup
Although there have been a few high points, in some ways this summer has been a bit of a "crash and burn" for our family. Specifically, Michael came up against a couple of situations where he was being stretched farther socially and emotionally than he was ready for, and he rebelled big time!
During the school year, Michael had been attending a therapeutic after school program and was thriving there, partly because he had gotten into a good routine and also because he had become the leader within his particular group of kids. He had also been enjoying a weekly playgroup that is run by his psychologist, so we were feeling pretty confident about his progress.
First came the crashing…
As we moved into the summer, however, he started having trouble with playgroup. The psychologist had begun leaving the structure of the time up to the boys so they could learn to negotiate what they wanted to do as a group. This worked well for a few of them, but Michael started exhibiting all sorts of avoid and escape behaviors during the sessions.
Followed by the burning…
Then it came time for summer camp, which was basically an all day version of the after school program he had done so well in. However, the adult to child ratio was a bit higher and there were more kids who had more advanced social skills in his age range, so Michael was no longer the top dog — and he didn't like it!
Again, the behaviors escalated with each group activity they were asked to participate in, and Michael wasn't able to control himself, even with the wasted time being taken out of his playground or pool time later in the day. By the end of camp, I had to drive him as he wouldn't even get on the van.
I shared last week about the struggle just getting to the psychologist's office and am happy to say that we were able to go in for an individual session with her on Thursday. It turns out she has been planning to start a different group for the boys who need to have a more structured environment so they can work on interpersonal skills at a more basic level, and she and Michael agreed that he should give it a try.
And now it's time to regroup…
Michael is very happy to be back at the babysitter's now that camp is over, and I am looking forward to our vacation so that we can all relax a bit before jumping into first grade.
Part of this "regrouping" process for me has been to look at ways to simplify my schedule and commitments for the coming school year, and, sadly, one of the things that I need to say goodbye to is my place on the team here at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.
It has been such a joy to be part of this amazing group over the past year, and I have been blessed by each one of you who has challenged, educated and encouraged me along the way. I look forward to continuing as part of the wonderful community that has developed here, just from the other side of the page (or the post, if you will).
So, how was your summer?
As the host of Try This Tuesday for the last year, Trish has been honored to share some of the solutions she has found to make life easier. You can follow her on Twitter or visit her blog at Another Piece of the Puzzle.
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Comments on Try This Tuesday #56: Time to Regroup »
Time to Regroup — Another Piece of the Puzzle @ 12:05 am
[...] This week for Try This Tuesday at 5 Minutes for Special Needs, I am sharing more about how our summer has been and some of the challenges we have faced with regard to Michael's progress. I hope you'll take a moment to read it, especially as it will be my last one. [...]
MaddyM @ 1:03 am
We're taking a minimalist approach this summer because of the general overload on our current family life. I know my limits. Just getting through the average day is more than enough for me.
Best wishes
Stacey Harris @ 1:40 am
We are also looking forward to my son Shane being in first grade… and hopefully… for the Whole, regular school day.. I know he is doing well with his reading, but I worry that his need to be perfect is going to strain his already poor writing skills.
I am going to try to stay focused on one day at a time.
staying afloat @ 8:13 am
We'll miss you here! Thanks for all you've shared.
I really hear you on the whole dealing with new environments and adjusting thing. It's like stepping onto a balance beam- you sway a lot until you adjust, and if you can't, you step off and try a different one. I wish you success as you move along.
Barbara @ 8:42 am
Thanks, Trish, for all your contributions here. You.will.be.missed.
You provided such a clear picture of your son's summer – so helpful to others. The judgment-call on when to progress a child to a new or more challenging situation is one.hard.part.of.parenting.
Deborah @ 9:21 am
Trish, we are all going to miss you terribly, but I certainly understand the need to simplify one's life. I've been thinking of ways to do that myself.
Good luck, and we can definitely stay in touch on Facebook!
Deborah
Kajoli @ 9:31 am
Many hugs – the lack of predictability in summer can be so hard on our kiddos
But looks like you have a great gameplan
rickismom @ 10:49 am
I think that mot of us have to reevaluate our priorities, and it takes courage to stop things that we simply can't do anymore!
Territory Mom @ 10:59 am
Oh Trish, I love your posts. I love a mommy that puts her kids first. Great job. You will be missed.
We are regrouping by going to school online, a new program here in Oklahoma that I believe will really help my son. Take care.
Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting @ 11:12 am
*huge hugs* Trish
SoCoMom4James @ 12:36 pm
Best wishes, I can relate!
Our summer has had a lot of growth. James needs to be pushed and he was surrounded by love & good stuff this summer.
Whole big long post is here: http://for-james.blogspot.com/2009/08/try-it-tuesday-special-olympics-special.html
Stacie @ 4:25 pm
I am sorry to see you leave as I just started coming here and really enjoyed your posts. I hope the vacation you all go on is a blast. I hope things go well at the start of the school year.
Our summer here has been ok. It started out with summer school and then summer reading program. Which ended up starting to be to much for Dakota so I pulled him out as we needed to attend to him before school started next year. He has been busy playing with the kids next door as well as a new friend. We have been working on crafts and today we are building him a fort in his closet. He has such demanding sensory needs and I didn't feel it was safe for him to be on the top shelf of his closet. So I decided to take it out as well as make it into a safer place for him. Don't ask me why he likes the closets all of a sudden. There are no doors on the closet thankfully. Now I have to start getting ready for school to begin. The real test will be the up coming school year as he was homeschooled for 2 years. So this should be interesting.
Good Luck!
Ellen @ 9:53 pm
Oh, Trish, I am sad to see you go, but applaud you for prioritizing. I find that hard to do, I want to do it all.
You deserve an awesome vacation.
Our summer has been OK, not the best, both because it was so rainy and because I've had to work late a lot. I'm hoping August gets better.
Take care, Trish!
The Gang's Momma @ 10:16 pm
Good for you Trish. I know that you will be sorely missed, and that you contribute a valuable element here. But choosing to streamline your home and your commitments to keep your family as first priority will lead to blessing. You are doing the right thing. May you reap far more benefits and favor from the Lord than just a reduction in busy-ness and stress!
I'll keep reading your other stuff. Hugs to you and HIGH FIVE for following your heart. Love ya, friend!
Trish @ 9:00 am
Thanks for all the well wishes and summer stories. It makes me feel good to know that I am not alone on this roller coaster!
I'll be seeing you around.