So I was on Twitter the other morning and I came across this in my Twitterstream:
Parents of Children With Autism Report High Stress Levels http://bit.ly/7tjBl
REALLY? You don’t say!
I mean, parents IN GENERAL are stressed. It’s tough these days to raise a child, let alone more than one. (At least to hear my Mother-in-Law tell it; and SHE SHOULD KNOW) But add to the mix a child with Special Needs (and that includes more than Parents of Autistic Children) and you have a bubbling over cauldron of STRESS.
I can’t think of a time when I am not stressed. Spiff’s schooling and his social issues are always “on” in my brain. Add to that his younger brother, who I’m always trying to give the same amount of time to, even though he doesn’t necessarily require it. There there’s the day-to-day of just running the household; sometimes without my husband’s help if he is on the road. I also have a job that requires my effort that has it’s own brand of stressors.
Of course I can’t forget the time of year that makes the stressors consider going on strike, the IEP season. That time of year is even too much for them to take.
I need to also add in the added stress of the Media War on/in/about Autism and the explaining/justifying/screaming I have to do about the varying divisive views that are brought out because of the way Autism is discussed. I find myself quoting Rodney King more often than I’d like in any given day.
It’s no wonder we constantly feel as if we are treading water. Or even sinking in quicksand.
I wish I had some magic potion or some handy trick or tip to impart that would solve the problem; but I’m just as lost as you are. I’m sure I do something that helps alleviate my stress levels, otherwise I might have just imploded by now.
I do have Girl’s Night Out sometimes. Mani/Pedis. Lunch with a friend every so often. I have good friends and family and a great support system both in our neighborhood and at school. I’m very grateful for this.
But honestly? I still feel the stress. I still have the “I’ve put one fire out; Oh Look! there’s another one!” radar running 24/7. But I muddle through the best I can. It’s all I can do.
What do you do to help alleviate your stress?
Shash is making sure her son’s IEP i’s are dotted and the t’s are crossed for her son’s Freshman year of High School. Click over to Diary of a Crazed Mommy to read more about her life and her amazing family.
This is true for me, but I read that it helps others, too.
Some stress is created by the difference between what we want and what is. The closer those two are, the less stress (from this particular source). When you ‘take ownership’ – this is MY LIFE and dagnabit I like it! – that reduces the space between want and is.
I hear you loud and clear!! To add to my stress, I teach in the district my child attends. That makes it harder to be a strong advocate. I’ve had principals turn around and make sarcastic and negative statements about my own teaching. To alleviate a bit of this, my husband and I go over the script ahead of time and make sure he gets the hardest lines. Good cop – bad cop? Maybe. It works.
I’m not gonna lie. It IS stressful being the parent of a special needs child.
One tip is to not isolate yourself. Reach out to others. Get involved in support groups, school advisory boards, church groups, etc. Reach out to others who may be in the same boat.
Another tip is to allow yourself outlets and timeouts. I write in my blog. I go for walks with the dog. I go out with friends for breakfast or lunch. Remember that you are your own person-not just a special needs parent 24/7. It’s really hard to squeeze this stuff in and to make time. Feelings of guilt or just plain exhaustion can be reasons-but make time!
okay, I’m gonna shut up now.
Unfortunately, I eat.
I loved the first few lines of this,it gave me a good laugh. Just knowing that there are others in the same spot I’m in helps. I have the only boy’s on either side of the family and both are on the spectrum.Our familys will not have anything to do with our sons. The place we live does not have any services for help outside of school(1st to 5th grade)or any support groups.5 minutes for special needs is a godsend to me. thank you for the laughter.