Comments on: How Do We Deal With “Shallow”? http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/1462/how-do-we-deal-with-shallow/ Support. insight. and inspiration for parents of children with special needs Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:16:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: k http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/1462/how-do-we-deal-with-shallow/comment-page-1/#comment-126483 k Sun, 21 Jun 2009 06:35:45 +0000 http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/?p=1462#comment-126483 I am glad that it has helped her! I am glad that it has helped her!

]]> By: rickismom http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/1462/how-do-we-deal-with-shallow/comment-page-1/#comment-126217 rickismom Sat, 20 Jun 2009 19:01:41 +0000 http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/?p=1462#comment-126217 OK. Here's the other side. No surgery is going to hide the fact tyhat one has Down syndrome. Ricki (see: http://beneaththewings.blogspot.com/2009/06/behind-my-back-when-i-wasnt-looking.html , who had surgery at age one year, still looks like she has Down syndrome. HOWEVER, she looks like she has a "light" case. Yes, we did the surgery because of the way society reacts to her. But that reaction is not only THEIR problem, it affects Ricki as well. People expect more from her. People react nicer. Her classmates in a new school were less afraid. And that affects HER. Ricki has a self-confidence, a positive self view, that I am not sure she would have had otherwise. OK. Here’s the other side.

No surgery is going to hide the fact tyhat one has Down syndrome. Ricki (see:
http://beneaththewings.blogspot.com/2009/06/behind-my-back-when-i-wasnt-looking.html ,
who had surgery at age one year, still looks like she has Down syndrome. HOWEVER, she looks like she has a “light” case.
Yes, we did the surgery because of the way society reacts to her. But that reaction is not only THEIR problem, it affects Ricki as well. People expect more from her. People react nicer. Her classmates in a new school were less afraid. And that affects HER.
Ricki has a self-confidence, a positive self view, that I am not sure she would have had otherwise.

]]> By: Ellen S. http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/1462/how-do-we-deal-with-shallow/comment-page-1/#comment-125755 Ellen S. Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:37:46 +0000 http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/?p=1462#comment-125755 Great post. I used to mind that people noticed when Max drooled. Months ago, a doctor prescribed patches he could wear to prevent drooling. I posted about here about my hesitation to use them. I never did. I decided, I am not going to medicate or alter my son to fit the world's perception of what is "normal." Especially since Max doesn't notice or care that he drools. If HE ever wants to use those patches, that'll be another story. Max is who he is, drool and all. He has many winning traits—his personality, his charm, his smile. People need to love him, and all our children, for who they are. [Me stepping off my soapbox now] Great post.

I used to mind that people noticed when Max drooled. Months ago, a doctor prescribed patches he could wear to prevent drooling. I posted about here about my hesitation to use them.

I never did.

I decided, I am not going to medicate or alter my son to fit the world’s perception of what is “normal.” Especially since Max doesn’t notice or care that he drools. If HE ever wants to use those patches, that’ll be another story.

Max is who he is, drool and all. He has many winning traits—his personality, his charm, his smile.

People need to love him, and all our children, for who they are.

[Me stepping off my soapbox now]

]]> By: Sarah http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/1462/how-do-we-deal-with-shallow/comment-page-1/#comment-125716 Sarah Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:41:49 +0000 http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/?p=1462#comment-125716 Oh and P.S. that clerk story really bugged me when I read it. A lot of people don't seem to realize anyone could have an accident any day that could change their life. Even brilliant "Beautiful" people. I bet those executives making that rule would be very grateful for a new limb should they suffer an accident! Oh and P.S. that clerk story really bugged me when I read it. A lot of people don’t seem to realize anyone could have an accident any day that could change their life. Even brilliant “Beautiful” people. I bet those executives making that rule would be very grateful for a new limb should they suffer an accident!

]]> By: Sarah http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/1462/how-do-we-deal-with-shallow/comment-page-1/#comment-125715 Sarah Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:37:23 +0000 http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/?p=1462#comment-125715 I sometimes wonder about people that have surgeries to make themselves suposively look younger, when in reality I kind of think you can't look 20 when you are 50. Personally I think a lot of them look very odd and unnatural. If you have put your energy into surgery to "hide" Down Syndrome, wouldn't it be more productive to spend your money and time on education and therapy to help your child grow and learn and be "themselves"?? I sometimes wonder about people that have surgeries to make themselves suposively look younger, when in reality I kind of think you can’t look 20 when you are 50. Personally I think a lot of them look very odd and unnatural. If you have put your energy into surgery to “hide” Down Syndrome, wouldn’t it be more productive to spend your money and time on education and therapy to help your child grow and learn and be “themselves”??

]]> By: Suzie Smith/Lily's Life is Great! http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/1462/how-do-we-deal-with-shallow/comment-page-1/#comment-125653 Suzie Smith/Lily's Life is Great! Fri, 19 Jun 2009 23:31:35 +0000 http://www.5minutesforspecialneeds.com/?p=1462#comment-125653 This subject gets me! Yes, Lily does have a mouth expander, not for looks though. We found that by bringing her upper jaw over and on top of her lower jaw, where it is meant to be, her airway is opened up. Golly gee she can breathe better and as a bonus she will have straight teeth. When she went in for her first set of tubes, the doctor said he would just check her ears while she was under. My husband had a fit, "Heavenly Father gave her those ears!" "They are my favorite part about her!" "No one is touching her ears!" Lily tells people she got her ears at Target! We don't know why she came up with that, but she did. She will also tell people she got her Down syndrome on a certain day of the week. Why would you want to change the look of someone with a noticable disability. When my daughter is ignoring me and being her stubborn self, people will see that she has Ds and is not some spoiled little girl that doesn't mind her mom, well wait a minute... :-) My daughter is beautiful just the way she is! Every person I know with Ds is beautiful for who they are. Don't change who they are to please yourself! This subject gets me! Yes, Lily does have a mouth expander, not for looks though. We found that by bringing her upper jaw over and on top of her lower jaw, where it is meant to be, her airway is opened up. Golly gee she can breathe better and as a bonus she will have straight teeth.
When she went in for her first set of tubes, the doctor said he would just check her ears while she was under. My husband had a fit, “Heavenly Father gave her those ears!” “They are my favorite part about her!” “No one is touching her ears!”
Lily tells people she got her ears at Target! We don’t know why she came up with that, but she did. She will also tell people she got her Down syndrome on a certain day of the week.
Why would you want to change the look of someone with a noticable disability. When my daughter is ignoring me and being her stubborn self, people will see that she has Ds and is not some spoiled little girl that doesn’t mind her mom, well wait a minute… :-)
My daughter is beautiful just the way she is! Every person I know with Ds is beautiful for who they are. Don’t change who they are to please yourself!

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