Second Nature

My 20 year old son, Andy was getting ready to leave for Paris for a semester, and we were out shopping for shoes when his cell phone rang.

“I have to get this,” he said, and I thought it must be his girlfriend. He strolled away from me and carried on a conversation for a good 15 minutes, while I stared at the shoe racks impatiently. I felt frustrated and a little hurt. I had so little one-on-one time with my son that even a trip to the shoe store was a treat. I was just about to give him a nudge when he hung up the phone.

“I am so sorry,” he said, “that was my friend Kevin from school.”

“You couldn’t all him back later?” I said. It’s never too late to teach a few manners.

“Not really- we talk about once or twice a day when he gets stressed out. He has Asperger Syndrome and not too many people…get him. But since my roommate Chris and I both have brothers with disabilities-well- he’s just drawn to us.”

“Wow, Andy,” I said tearing up. “Does it ever seem like a burden?”

“Not at all,” he said, “It’s second nature. Kevin’s great. OK- shoes! Let’s see if they have these in my size,” he said picking up a pair of running shoes.

I have never been prouder of my son. When he was growing up, I worried so much about how Matthew’s autism would affect him. He’d had some bumpy years along the way-it hadn’t been easy. But he had grown into a compassionate young man who understands the importance of just being there-without saying “Aren’t I wonderful? Look at how I help people.”

It had just become second nature.

Laura

Laura Shumaker is the author of A REGULAR GUY: GROWING UP WITH AUTISM

and a contributor to A CUP OF COMFORT FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.

She writes each Friday for 5 MINUTES FOR SPECIAL NEEDS.

I'm a fifth generation Californian and live in the San Francisco Area with my husband and three sons. My oldest, Matthew, is autistic and I've been writing about my experience raising him from babyhood to young adulthood for about 4 years. I've read my stories on NPR and published them in magazines, newspapers and anthologies, including Voices of Autism. My book A Regular Guy: Growing up with Autism is available at Amazon.

Laura

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