This is Max at 18 months with my sister, Judy. Ever since he was born, she and my mom have been Max’s biggest fans—they think he is THE most handsome, cute little boy ever. I can’t argue with them. Whenever they come to visit, I know that Max is in the best of hands. They’ve also been my saviors. When I was feeling low on and off that first year after Max was born, they were there to take care of me.
The other person I completely trust with Max is Linnette, the nanny he’s had since he was born (I work fulltime). We hired her a few weeks before I gave birth to Max, before I knew that I was going to have a child with disabilities. She has stuck with us through everything; she is your basic saint. You could say she has a masters in Max—she knows his challenges and moods inside out. She also gets just as excited about his achievements as my husband and I do (and my mom and Aunt Judy).
We have two other babysitters we occasionally use on Saturday nights, but otherwise, there’s nobody I trust with Max. I’d never be able to just hire a neighborhood teen to watch him. Although he is on anti-seizure medication, the risk is there and so I feel like he can only ever have adults helping him. Just not my MIL, who is your basic ditz, though a nice person.
So, who do you trust to take care of your child?
Ellen blogs daily over at To The Max.
My 8yo was recently classified with ASD. I always knew he was different than the other kids but since he is on the high functioning end, I just thought he was a bit slower than the kids his age and felt he’d have a ‘magic’ growth/development spurt that would catch him up to everyone. He’s always been very picky about where he stays and who he’s with so it’s not been an issue of who I trust but more a question of who HE trusts. He’s only stayed with my mom but not overnight and there’s a babysitter he knows from school. Other than the rare night out with hubs, the kids go where we go!
My 10 year old has multiple medical issues and is non-mobile. The only 2 people I leave him with are my sister and a friend who is a nurse. Even that is rare. I spend the time out worrying about him so it is best to have him along.
My sister, our nanny (who was with us before the accident), and our previous nanny (now an ICU nurse). That’s IT. (so far). I’ve heard from other parents that the more I can get people involved now, the easier it will be later on. I guess I’d better get moving on that.
Jennifer, I’ve never had to deal with my kids being picky about babysitters, they’re used to them, I guess we’ve been lucky. Heidi, it’s lucky you have a friend who is a nurse. I’ve often wished we did. And Jenny, I totally agree, it’s all about having a team. Team Max is OK right now, because I still get my sister’s help, but she is pregnant so I’m going to be losing her soon. I pray my nanny stays with us forever! (I know, so realistic, right? But a Mom can dream….)
We did go through a slew of respite workers trying to get a good fit. We’d pay the three hour minimum, then I’d walk them through it for an hour or two and make a quick dash to the supermarket or something to get me out of the house for half an hour. On return they’d be watching the telly or playing electronics, I’d cough up the cash and we’d try again the next week. I’ve stopped trying the last 18 months. Those ‘people’ are few and far between and even more difficult to find.
Cheers