Four Sons, Lots of Questions

Four sons not expected to live.

“We do not understand how he survived” we were told…four times. Once at the birth of our oldest son and then each time one of our three younger sons was placed in our arms by the precious gift of adoption. Often I ask myself why we were blessed with four miracle children when so many couples are denied one. I ask how we can possibly fulfill the tremendous responsibility bestowed upon us are caretakers of these lives. My husband and I are blessed with four beautiful sons, three with special needs which consume most of our waking moments and often our sleepless ones.

As parents of children with special needs, we ask these two questions…why and how. As we come to appreciate the gift of our children the question of why fades and the how becomes the prevailing question. It is a difficult job, day in day out, no vacation, no sick leave, but you cannot beat the fringe benefits. Still the question looms large, how?

How does a parent keep going through the physical and mental exhaustion? How does a parent insure their child’s special purpose is served? How does a parent help their child reach their potential? The answer is just like every parent…with love, hard work and support. While we each may sometimes feel alone in our daily lives, we come to understand how joined we are…how similar our struggles no matter the diagnoses…how connection with one another is a lifeline.

But most difficult, how does a parent make others realize their child’s purpose and potential? How do we help our children face the reality that some people choose to view them as less? How do we make those people not blessed with our children’s special purposes accept the tender souls which love unconditionally, the bodies and minds which struggle, the child that is first and foremost a kid?

Honestly, not everyone will achieve this degree of acceptance. But together we, as parents of children with special needs, can broaden the scope of understanding of the simple truth…every person has a special purpose, a right and a reason to live.

Please take a moment to meet my boys…it will shed light on why I advocate for and support children, parents and adoption. You will see miraculous human spirit in small packages. You will glimpse into our lives and know why for the sake of sanity I often write from the humorous point of view.

Please use comments to ask me questions…offer me suggestions…tell me the things with which you struggle. What information and support do you need? What inspires you?

Melody can be found writing here at 5MFSN every Tuesday in addition to hosting Special Exposure Wednesday. She also shares her special life and photography at Slurping Life and reviews products and gives away stuff at what i think.

Melody

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