Comments on: How much should you encourage other kids to play with your child?

By: Susan (5 minutes for mom)

Susan (5 minutes for mom) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 22:34:00 +0000

Being a mom and watching our children navigate social situations can be so heart breaking.Since I don’t have children of my own with special needs I don’t have any experience or advice to offer…

But as always with this site it is so good for moms of typically developing kids to learn more about how we can help bridge these gaps. For instance, I want to teach my girls the importance in reaching out to other children who may not be have anyone to play with.

By: Checking In With The Sisters!

Checking In With The Sisters! — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 14:23:54 +0000

[...] parks, this is something that most parents will be faced with. You can read Ellen’s story, How much should you encourage other kids to play with your child?, and other great stories at 5 Minutes for Special Needs. Are you as confused as I am about the [...]

By: Ellen S.

Ellen S. — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:26:58 +0000

I know, Ecki, it can be heartbreaking. I think the best we can do, as the consensus here seems to be, is use our judgment to facilitate interactions with other kids without totally stepping on our children’s toes.

Tammy, Parker’s got that kid-magnet smile!

By: Ecki

Ecki — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 18:37:26 +0000

My almost 5 year old daughter Kayla has Down syndrome and autism and is nonverbal. She attends an integrated PreK class, mostly typical kids. Last weekend she attended her first birthday party for a classmate.

It was painful to watch. While her classmates did greet her, they didn’t include her, not that Kayla even wanted to be included. She spent the whole time in a corner stimming with a party hat.

I realized that Kayla will likely never be able to interact on the same level as her typical peers so there’s not really any point in trying to force the issue. And that broke my heart.

By: Tammy and Parker

Tammy and Parker — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:16:08 +0000

I don’t know what it is about Parker, but he is a kid magnet. He sticks out the skinny little fist and nobody can resist coming over and giving him some ‘stones’. (Rocks?)

But then again he is so little that the older kids think he is still a baby. That could make a difference too.

We’ve only had kids over for Parker a couple of times. But he was happy to just quietly play next to them.

I’m sure as time goes on and Parker gets older things will be different.

By: Barbara

Barbara — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:32:41 +0000

I think that kind of interpretive mothering is normal for lots of circumstances. The scenario you described was sweet and helped the boy who stayed understand Max better. Plus Max was encouraged by the short interaction. Consider thinking less in terms of “never” as a result of any choices you make. Like Trish said, “The darn thing keeps moving!” Or, parenting is a constant judgment call. You might think more in terms of patterns or habits – use the Dynavox regularly, but on occasion when you do not have it, adapt – as you did in this situation.

He looks great in that photo.

By: Bethany ( The X Mom )

Bethany ( The X Mom ) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 03:26:51 +0000

Both of my children are verbal, but interaction with peers is still difficult. My oldest Jeremy (FX, ADHD, ASD ) is 5 and often uses words and phrases out of context which confuses his peers. So I find myself intervening and coaching Jeremy in the right direction.

By: Trish

Trish — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 03:21:39 +0000

I totally relate to what you are saying and have had trouble not crossing the line on this one. The darn thing keeps moving! At this point, I find myself more often prompting Michael than addressing the other kids, but even then I sometimes feel like I am being too protective.

In one way, I do think you answered your own question at the end of the post when you mentioned the Dynavox. If that is his current means of communication, then he should have access to it at all times and be encouraged to use it. I don’t say that to be harsh, but to encourage you not to let anything or anyone make you feel like you shouldn’t be bringing it into different situations. Giving him the power to communicate is one of the best things you can do for him.